Still Slow...

"We here at LPP are actually quite fond of Brett Fav-RAH, but still found the following email sent to us entertaining. It is what it is, enjoy." (Oh and we LOVE Marco Matarazzi, so we were a bit offended by that, but oh well.)

Hey man, I got turned on to your site a few months ago and friggin' love it! Well done (well, except for the Materazzi support - that clown's a fucking pig) and keep up the good work!

Anyway, I'm a die-hard Jake the Snake fan since the Rose Bowl (nice defense, ASU, you pussies) and sort of the resident lunatic in the Mighty Bronco newsgroup on Usenet for my unwavering support of Jake. And since they're so damned tired of my diatribes, I thought I'd vent to you guys out of desperation.I've given it enough time and feel that I can now say this in regard to Brett Favre's retirement: Good Fucking Riddance! I'm so goddamned sick of seeing that lucky sonofabitch's highlights.

I see all the shit he pulls out of his ass and say to myself either "Hell, Jake the Snake does that all the time. So what?" or "What bullshit. If Jake had tried to snake that one in there, the WR would have tipped it up for a pick." Jake was truly SnakeBit at times and I am so grateful that Favre's career ended with a horrendous pass that was rightfully picked off. No bullshit tips, no glancing off finger-tips...just a piss-poor decision and throw that bit #4 in the ass. And his running around and jumping like a ten-year old? Give me a break. How many times did we see Jake be the first one to his receiver after a TD pass? Oh, but Favre has a love for the game! Shit, most of those guys he hugged all the time were probably the same ones handing off their Vicodin prescriptions.

If Favre wants to act like a grade-schooler, I got some grade-school smack for him: Jake the Snake rules, Brett Boy drools. Swap them in "There's Something About Mary" and it probably snags an Oscar, what with the porn-stache and all. At least a nomination.Okay. I think I have it out of my system now. That the bounty of unbelievable Luck that permeated Favre's bonehead decisions trumped the derring-do ballsiness of Jake the Snake's play for so long just galls the shit out of me (not to mention the lone ring, but shit, even Brad Johnson and Dilfer have one of those). Thanks for the outlet and I appreciate all your hard work on the site. That photo of Jake's musings on JC and the handball should be blown up into a poster and hand-delivered to Shanny.

aloha
LD

Slow....Slow...Slow

Here's a random email sent to us recently by a Jake fan:


Hello Jake:

Thanks for all the good times, I'll miss you.
I'm behind you in all that you do. You made the right decision to nix the trade deal.
I have a very good feeling that your best football days may be are still ahead. If not, that's OK too.
Have a good rest ( it's well deserved) & good luck in all that you do in life.
Sure Elway was a good one, but you Jake are 2nd to no other not even Elway. Keep the positive attitude & have some more fun.
I've watched you play since your SunDevil Days. Your great sports memories will live forever as near mirracles and fantastic acomplishments.
I know that there were a few other talented players on that Cardinals team but you carried that team on your back like no one else could ever do.
For this, Jake you are truly a NFL hero. And you are an inspiration for many of us.
And even though that Rose Bowl game was not won, it was for me my greatest sports moment. As a long time ASU fan, I watched from the stands that fine day in Pasadena.
You are one of a kind, a truly talented & great quarterback with super normal instincts.I hope you know that!
You must have a very fine family. Your mother sounds like a very wonderful person.
Best Regards to Pat Tillman as well. The spirit (of Pat) never dies. You 2 guys are really something else.
I know that there are many others that also feel the same as I. You are revered!

Thanks Again,
Don (from PHX, AZ)