5-0!?!?!?

Holy crap. The Mile High advantage is back.

Down go the Patriots! We can doubt MickeyD no longer. Thank you for proving that a good young coach can do better than a "legendary" coach when the legend loses his competitive edge, Josh McD.

Super Bowl this year? We're not going to bounce off the walls with anticipation yet, but Denver is once again a top ten NFL team and possibly top five. What a difference a year and a coach who has all his marbles makes.

The schedule ahead looks tough, but the Broncos already have five wins. Four more probably gets them in the playoffs. Conveniently, Denver gets the Chiefs twice, the Redskins, and the Raiders. Start saving up for playoff ticket scalps, Broncos fans.

p.s: San Diego, hope you enjoyed that lame little run of "success." It's over.

(EDITORS NOTE, 1/3/10: Well, we were wrong. Sue us.)

Shanahan makes a good call.

It's better to be lucky...

There. We said it. Going for two? That was pretty neat.

But if they had lost this game it would have been the ultimate embarrassment. After 14 points worth of gifts from Football Satan (Champ's "strip" that should have been overturned and Ed Hochuli's hasty whistle on Pumpkin Pie's "oopsie" fumble) Shanahan had no business getting an "L" which is probably why he chose to go for two...losing in OT would have looked bad on the entire game's effort, blowing a 2-point conversion only looks bad for one play. So credit for smarts, there.

A win is a win, and we'll happily take 2-0. Cutler got oddly shaky near the end, but luckily the referees bailed him and the Broncos out so he can learn from his mistakes without having to absorb the loss. This was definitely a game for the Broncos to take with Merriman out, LT hobbled, and the Mile High advantage--this was not an upset, this was "winning when you should." We're not going to put Denver in the NFL's top 3 just yet, but hey, they're atop the AFC West. If San Diego continues its streak of bad decisions and worse luck, a Denver division title is easily attainable since there are at least 5 more guaranteed victories on the schedule (Oakland and Miami at Mile High, Atlanta, and two shots at beating up Kansas City.) That means all they have to do is win 2-3 of the games that could go either way (Tampa Bay, Cleveland, Buffalo,) and pull off at least one upset (we're thinking @ Carolina for that one) That's at least 9 to 11 victories, and that's enough to win this crappy AFC West. Maybe they aren't ready to take down Pittsburgh in a playoff situation, but the rest of the AFC has deteriorated so quickly that ANYTHING can happen. Hey, why not?

Besides, if all the pieces fall into place and Denver somehow wins the Super Bowl, we can admit we were wrong about everything in the history of ever and close down the site...we'll see. Until then, we remain...

LET PLUMMER PLAY!

Pumpkin Pie in the Raiders' faces

Great Pumpkin!

Well, that's a good start to the season. As we predicted, Pumpkin Pie is carrying the team despite the running game slipping away and the Raiders essentially stopping themselves by even bothering to use Justin "Every Yard Is Uphill" Fargas when they have a machine named Darren McFadden. Helpful hint, Lil' Lane Kiffin...running backs don't need to learn the game like QB's do. They run. That's it. Make a hole for them and things happen. And with that bit of advice, we'd like to add...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH...ahhhh. F*** the Raiders. Side note: Jamarcus Russell actually doesn't look too bad. But who in the hell are his receivers? Wait, did Ashley Lelie just...ASHLEY LELIE? And who is "Scheilens?" While we're at it...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH...ahhh. Way to suck and blow at the same time Chargers. Losing to Carolina? In San Diego? From Jake Delhomme? As time expired? Yeah, have fun watching the Super Bowl at home again. And oh yeah...

Ha. We can't laugh too hard at the Chiefs. We hate them, but they did mow down Tom Brady, and we'd like to congratulate Kansas City for their moral victory. Ladies and Gentlemen, your starting AFC Pro Bowl QB, Jay Cutler.

For those who might smacktalk about Jake and our ongoing dedication to his old career, we knew Cutler would be starting by now when he was drafted. So, whatever. Our issue was with the failures of 06 and 07. It's 2008 now and we're Broncos fans. Maybe we can't win it all, but we can do some damage--of course we'll back our Pie in the Mile High. Also, Eddie Royal seems to be the real deal and Scheffler looks to be continuing his improvement.

(Note from Pale Horseman--And just to be honest here, Pumpkin Pie is my fantasy starting QB. Better believe I'm behind him this year. LET PUMPKIN SCORE!!!)

And speaking of Vegas...

"Yeah, ol' Charlie Hustle bet on baseball, son. And I bet yer mom's a C-cup."

-

If he were a bettin' man, Pete would like these odds. According to current Vegas lines, the Denver Broncos look to be a lucrative bet should you have the faith. We here at LPP do not necessarily endorse gambling, but we do like throwing our paychecks away in exchange for $20 worth of watery cocktails and dirty hands. Is that so wrong? So here be the Broncos' chances according to the Mafia...er, the legitimate sports bettors of America:

Winning the AFC West: +450 (9-2)
Winning the AFC: + 2200 (22-1)
Winning the Super Bowl: +4000 (40-1)

All right, so let's face it. These odds are about right. But did America give up when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? No! So place your bets if you're in a position to do so. We suggest (for entertainment purposes only, as our attorneys advise) that you place the big money on the AFC West win. The Chiefs are sorry, the Raiders are a mess, and the Chargers are talented but...they just seem like a "but." 10-6 could possibly do it. Winning the AFC is probably a stretch and the Super Bowl even more so, but if you happen to be around a sports book, why not throw down five or ten bucks just as a goof? If you're in a casino, you're probably going to spend the money anyway and technically it'll be on a wager that entertains you for several months! That's better than spending 45 seconds getting slaughtered at the "Wheel of Fortune" slot machine, especially when you're sitting next to that old lady with maybe five months to live who hits the progressive million dollar jackpot after you've just hit your ATM limit for the night.

We also found some interesting side bets available...
Odds of:
Jay Cutler throwing 40 TDs: +1000 (10-1)
Jay Cutler throwing Brandon Marshall into a locker room TV: +700 (7-1)
Brandon Marshall getting 10 TD receptions: +1200 (12-1)
Brandon Marshall getting 10-15 months in County: +800 (8-1)
Shanahan winning Coach of the Year: +1100 (11-1)
Shanahan deserving Coach of the Year: +100000 (1000-1)
Shanahan deserving to lose his job and keeping it: EVEN
Denver RB reaching 1,000 rushing yards: +200 (2-1)
Denver RB reaching 1,000 rushing yards and returning for 2009: +300 (3-1)
Champ Bailey getting 10 INTs: +350 (7-2)
Boss Bailey getting 10 sacks: +2000 (20-1)
Bill Bailey coming home: +300 (3-1)
Denver sweeping the Raiders: +600 (6-1)
Denver sweeping the Chiefs: +400 (4-1)
Denver sweeping the Chargers: +1400 (14-1)
Todd Sauerbrun sweeping the bleachers at Invesco: +150 (3-2)
Travis Henry missing child support payments: +200 (2-1)
Rod Smith comeback: +5000 (50-1)
Soulja Boy comeback: +100000 (1000-1)
Macarena comeback: +500000 (5000-1)
Baby comeback: You can blame it all on me. (I was wrong, and I just can't live without you.)
Jake Plummer comeback: Ummmmmm...please?

All right, enough jokes. Gentlemen, place your bets!

LetPlummerPlay.com's 2008 Celebrity NFL Draft Hot Tub Party

Maybe this won't happen as much this year.

The Broncos actually played it safe in this years NFL Draft, taking OL Ryan Clady from Boise State with their first round pick. Clady is supposed to be pretty good and best of all for him, he won't have to memorize a new mascot. Maybe Shanny still has a few brain cells left, as we'll actually defend any decision that looks to improve the paper-thin lines on both sides of the ball. Of course the Denver Post criticized the decision, saying that the Broncos might have been better off taking Jonathan Stewart, a bruising RB from Oregon. We think they're better off with taking a shot at improving the line, but honestly, what do we know?

We here at LPP only care about NCAA football for what it is: the NFL's overrated minor league that gets hyped for three reasons: 1: Gambling 2: The NFL Draft 3: Gambling. We don't remember any college player's name except when ESPN gushes all over them...not to put down anyone who made a college team, but we feel the same way about NCAA basketball: it exists to make money for the school, stimulate gambling, and produce pros. On a national scale, that's all. Yes. That's ALL.

On a smaller and personal scale sure, school pride is nice and all but the games? They're just ticketed, televised sporting events from which rich old white guys get richer...kind of like the pros, yes, but at least in the pros the players are fairly compensated for their services. Also, for the most part rosters consist of the best of the best (Even the 2007 Miami Dolphins would destroy 2007 LSU. Sad but true.)

College (non-athlete version) is for getting a piece of paper that improves your resume, making connections which make said paper irrelevant, and learning how to handle your booze. College does not exist for hating a different college in the same region just because they wear blue and you wear green, and they're a "U" and you're a "State." NCAA games are fun, but it's no different than watching NCAA baseball or hockey...except that those two sports are ten times more difficult to successfully wager upon than football and basketball, therefore fewer people care. (Our humble opinion...well, that and no one watches hockey anymore and most baseball players don't get really good until they're at least 23-24, and many of the best hockey players come in as teenagers, and college baseball uses metal bats, and...let's face it, you REALLY have to like those sports to get into anything but the pro versions.)

So there you have LPP's 2008 NFL Draft report. Now go wait for Grand Theft Auto 4 to come out. That violence should tide you over until the preseason starts.

The power of positive thinking

Lest everyone think we're total "neighsayers" (get it? GET IT?) who have turned on our beloved horsies, Let Plummer Play! presents...

The top 10 reasons why the Denver Broncos will win the Super Bowl this coming season:

10. Donald Rumsfeld (pictured above) will be signed as a lineman, as Shanahan assumes a guy who was Secretary of Defense should be able to play defense as well or better than the sorry squad did last year.

9. Money saved by getting rid of Andrew Mason, Jim Sundquist, the entire PR department, and Jason Elam can be used to bribe Shawne Merriman with 6,000 pounds of steroid-injected raw beef.

8. Jay Cutler will lose a bet in training camp and shave his signature Pumpkin Pie haircut. His field vision will increase by 60% with the horizontal bang line blocking the top of his sight removed and enable him to throw 40 touchdowns.

7. John Elway will be hired as general manager and motivate the entire roster by giving each player a free slightly-used Toyota Corolla.

6. We've sent Jake Plummer a really nice e-mail and he's agreed to lift the voodoo curse he cast upon the team the day Cutler was drafted. Of course, we also have to contact Brian Griese to find out what kind of hex he laid down back in '02.

5. New defensive coordinator Bob Slowik is actually the reincarnation of Vince Lombardi.

4. Shanahan will convince George W. Bush that Sadaam Hussein is actually still alive and living in the New England area.

3. Pat Bowlen has requisitioned 3 more feet of soil, and is renaming the stadium "Invesco Field at Mile and a Yard High" to increase the built-in home-field advantage.

2. Hoping that good things come in threes, Mike Shanahan has entered negotiations with Eli and Peyton Manning's older brother Cooper Manning to replace Javon Walker at wideout.

1. After the 0-3 start, four words: Head Coach Rod Smith.

The end is near...

The playoffs are near, the Patriots are chasing perfection, Brett Favre is looking to ice his Hall of Fame cake, Michael Vick is practicing his grip on the soap, and the Denver Broncos are making January vacation plans for the second year in a row. It's been a topsy-turvy year for the NFL, and it's been a strange season of ups and downs. Actually, some might say it's been one of the all-time great years for the NFL. Of course, the only people saying this are writers who are paid to make average fans like you and me think stupid thoughts like this. The NFC is 90% irrelevant and the AFC is severely top-heavy. Case in point: there are only two teams west of Texas that don't stink, and only one team east of Pennsylvania that matters in the slightest. This wouldn't be a problem if everything in between was fine, but there's inconsistency across the rest of the board as well.

We here at LetPlummerPlay.com have mixed feelings about the end of the 2007 regular season. On the one hand, we're sad to see the Broncos run out of games. On the other hand, thank God they're not going to be getting brutally embarrassed anymore this year. With the new year upon us, we would like to present our few loyal readers with LetPlummerPlay.com's New Year's Resolutions:

1. We resolve to continue our undying support of that beleaguered specimen, the "Denver Quarterback Who is Forever Shadowed By the Ghost of John Elway." This means we will back our favorite NFL pastry, Pumpkin Pie himself: Jay Cutler. Jay's a solid, impressive passer who bravely plays behind a terrible offensive line for a coach that no longer seems to have any sense of direction or inclination to hire any sort of coaching assistant who could either challenge his authority or his job. Pumpkin Pie will be a tasty quarterbacking treat as long as someone--anyone--can put together a Broncos O-line that can stop a g*ddamn blitz once in a while. Otherwise he'll end up an injured, gun-shy mess...which is only a little worse than being discarded and banished to journeyman status, or being completely hounded out of the city.

2. With that in mind we resolve to continue cheering for the Broncos even as we criticize the hell out of anything we don't like about the team, especially if they are stinking up the joint. You know, like the fans in every other place outside of Fantasyland County, CO.

3. Along those same lines we resolve to give Mike Shanahan one more chance. Actually, we think he should be fired as of several weeks ago, but we know he's going to get another shot because of the now-decade-old glory days. If nothing else, we have a clear goal in 2008: continue to preach the truth about the sorry, sad decline of Denver's beloved "Mastermind."

4. We resolve to neither hate nor fear the New England Patriots. It's just been one of those years. They played in a division full of pansies and only played two teams that turned out to be legitimate contenders. We respect Tom Brady and the Pats for their accomplishments (even if they get bounced in the playoffs) but we also feel that there are several historic teams that could have taken them down...the 1997 Broncos are one of those teams, actually.

5. We resolve to keep an eye on Gary Kubiak. We won't be shifting team loyalties anytime soon, but Gary's doing a promising job down in Houston. Good for him.

6. We resolve to be polite and cordial on Andrew Mason's official Broncos blog. Actually, "LPP" himself abstains from this one. But the rest of us will behave, we swear. Mostly.

7. We resolve to try and be funnier. Some of our jokes and captions have fallen flat. Hey, you try being funny when your favorite team is worse than Helen Keller playing 20 Questions. We don't get paid for this, you know.

8. We resolve to try and find a way to get paid for this. Maybe a new T-Shirt.

9. We resolve to open up our site to other sports items of interest. The Rockies and Nuggets are a start, but to be honest...those aren't unanimous favorites of the entire staff. But we need to kill time between now and training camp with more than Shanahan-bashing and "Where is Jake now?" reports.

10. However, on that note, we resolve--nay, we solemnly declare--that we shall continue to maintain this site in honor of Jake "the Snake" Plummer, our all-time favorite NFL player. Although it is highly improbable, we will continue to cross our fingers that Jake rises again and shows the league what he can do with a real offensive line and more than one target on a team with a defense that shows up for every single game. Sure, Jake's still claiming retirement. Forgive us if we'd like to see, just once more, a team that will pick up a proven vet and...

LET PLUMMER PLAY!!!

Happy New Year to all, and best of luck to the 2008 Broncos. If Shanahan is still in charge, they're gonna need it.

Please score 50 points.

So, Monday Night is in San Diego. Last time the Broncos faced down the Chargers, they gave up something like 12,000 rushing yards. Hopefully they can catch the Bolts off-guard and get a victory.

They'd better. Pale Horseman's Fantasy Super Bowl opponent has the San Diego defense. CRUSH THEM!!!

ESPN did our update for us

(From ESPN.com)
"Somewhere, Jake Plummer Is Chortling: For years, TMQ has complained that the Houston Texans are dull. Thursday night against Denver, they seemed exciting -- it had to be that they were in all red! Or all Battle Red, as the Texans call that color. (Their other colors are officially Steel Blue and Liberty White, though the latter sure seems like Copy Paper White to me.) The red monochrome looked good on the Texans, and seemed to result in an uptick in their performance. Houston, ditch the moo-cow livery and keep the all red!

As for the Broncos, their coach -- whom the Denver team Web site calls "The Ultimate Leader" -- sure looks lost. Last year around Thanksgiving, Denver was 7-4 and held the inside track for a wild-card berth. But fans and football pundits kept complaining about Jake Plummer, and the Broncos had lost two straight, although they were close losses to San Diego and Kansas City, both power teams last season. Mike Shanahan decided to switch to Jay Cutler, and the Broncos are 8-11 since then, eliminated last season and now eliminated this season. Sure, there's more going on with that team beyond the quarterback switch, and sure Cutler has promise. But last year, Denver was a winner under Plummer, and since then, Denver has been a loser under Cutler. One suspects Plummer is off fly-fishing somewhere and having a good laugh about this."

Okay, ha-ha, very funny Mr. ESPN guy. That's totally not true. Jake isn't fly-fishing, he's playing handball. And there's a good chance he's not laughing. Everything else is true, though. Poor Pumpkin Pie. Is he going to be stuck under coach Norman Bates forever?

Well, no playoffs this year. That makes two years in a row for the first time in what seems like forever.

Travis Henry 1, NFL 0

Travis Henry actually won his suspension appeal. Good for him and his nine child support payments. Good for the Broncos, too. They have enough problems with injuries without having to lose a guy to something else entirely.

Of course, he's still going to get scapegoated as a distraction by the Shanahan apologists. While it's a fair accusation, we get the feeling Big Baby Daddy and Jim Bates are going to be this year's Jake Plummer and Larry Coyer--meaning they'll be the ones getting all the blame while no one blames Shanahan for enabling the whole mess to begin with.

Congratulations to Big Baby Daddy! Unfortunately, he probably won't be celebrating this personal victory in the manner he loves best...too bad. A bit of the hydroponic bionic would certainly help to dull the pain of losing to the freakin' Raiders. Ugh...the RAIDERS?!?!?!

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE DENVER BRITNEYS.

You hear that quiet sucking sound; that almost inaudible whisper? That’s the sound of another season slipping down the drain in Denver. Usually the sound is more pronounced and violent, but this is Denver. The altitude and thin air means certain things act differently. We certainly can’t act like the Falcons. No, their season didn’t slip down the drain recently, the entire Atlanta bathtub crashed through the ceiling, “Money Pit” style, before the season even started. But enough talk of tubs and drains; let’s just take that sucking sound literally. The Broncos suck, friends. They suck like Britney in Vegas on New Year’s Eve. Like Britney, they will tease you with promises of comebacks and a return to former glory. Then you get a long hard look at the performance up close.

The Broncos aren’t just “like” Britney Spears. They are the Denver Britneys; a disheveled, dingy, bloated, overrated mess of has-been that only seems relevant because many of their peers suck even worse, and it’s mainly Shanahan’s fault. It didn’t hit us until we noticed that the terrible Raiders took out the Chiefs in Arrowhead; an accomplishment that Denver fans had crowed long and hard about just two weeks ago since we hadn’t done it since the Brian Griese era. Well, turns out the Chiefs may now be the worst team West of Miami...and if those two teams played tomorrow, we might take Miami. Okay, well, there’s a little shine off of one win. Immediately after the Raiders score rolled by, we noticed that the Titans--a supposedly good team that battled the Broncos hard for 3 quarters before finally succumbing at Mile High last week--had been absolutely pasted by the (at the time) 3-7 Bengals. So apparently, the Titans actually are in a rapid decline (starting the week before the Denver game with a loss to the Jags) and again, another victory tarnished (as if playing at Mile High isn’t supposed to be like spotting the Broncos 10 points to begin with.)

We saw a lot to like about Jay Cutler yesterday. Pumpkin Pie (man, we love that name) finally has two impressive games in a row in 2007 but unfortunately, as we predicted, he only has one victory in those two games, a subtle but definite jab to any QB’s confidence (“What else do I have to do to get a win with this team???”) of the kind we’ve been predicting for nearly two years now thanks to “the Mastermind.” Shanahan made several strategic mistakes, even setting aside the fact that if it’s obvious Devin Hester is having one of “those” days, then stop giving him the freakin’ rope to choke you with and start kicking line drives and squibs. Shanahan shows no initiative when an opponent meekly shows him its throat, instead choosing to stick with “quick out-run-run-punt/run-quick out-run-punt” sequences when it was obvious that Cutler, Marshall, Scheffler and Stokley were practically going into convulsions waiting for the signal to open up the throttle on the subpar Bears secondary. Shanahan only called deep outs when his stuffy math-major’s brain told him it was proper; the players had to save a couple of busted plays on their own and made the most of them. Wasn’t this supposed to be the guy that truly opened up John Elway and Steve Young as deep threats? (Short answer: No--those two were already damn good, had All-Pro wideouts, and regularly called their own plays.)

The defense is breaking down again. The special teams were laughable. With the Bears defense deteriorated into a shadow, even the running game was just average and the only bright points came with the passing game...and even Pumpkin Pie’s passing percentage was down a hair; the secondary was just easy to beat once the receivers got space. And yet the Britneys came away with a loss in a game that they should have won handily. This is a weird year for the NFL. There are a ton of mediocre-to-bad teams (like every West team in both conferences.) The Britneys unfortunately seem to be more lucky than good when it comes to their record. They could easily be running with the Raiders at 3-8 or worse.

So we stand by our criticisms of Shanahan. Like Britney, the game has passed Shanahan by...and in both cases, anyone who’s paying attention will realize that the kids are the ones who will truly suffer for it. Save Pumpkin Pie! Save the Broncos from being the Denver Britneys! WE WANT OUR BRONCOS BACK!!! Mr. Shanahan, please retire before you’re left standing humiliated in a bra and panties with a mommy paunch on national TV, your voice shot and your former glory nothing but a hazily-remembered footnote! And we aren’t just saying this because you didn’t...

LET PLUMMER PLAY!!!

Victory

Well now Denver fans. That was a pretty good game wasn’t it? Even we here at LPP only have so much to say regarding the Monday Night victory in Denver. Jay Cutler did well, the special teams did well, and the defense actually held up. If they could do this every week, maybe we could get somewhere, though we still saw Jay running for his life on a few plays when the O-Line crumbled. What are we going to criticize this week? Not much. Thanksgiving is here, and why do you think Cutler’s doing so well all of a sudden? It’s that time of the year when Pumpkin Pie is a primary menu item around the USA!

The Broncos can take control of their destiny. The Bears are falling apart, the Raiders are about as bad as a year ago, Kansas City is playing with 1/3 of an offense, Houston isn’t ready to step up this year, and Minnesota revolves around one injured rookie. That’s right, the rest of the schedule is CREAM PUFF TEAMS except for one game; unfortunately it’s in San Diego. If the Broncos can figure out the Chargers before Christmas Eve, they’re golden. If not, no playoffs and mediocre draft positioning.

Thanks to the morons running the Chargers, the Broncos are getting the one-or-two-years-early gift of AFC West contention because of a simple fact: the winner of the terrible AFC West will be the worst team in the playoffs. Now, while that’s not much to brag about, it does at least mean an extra paycheck for the roster should they make it to the first round. Granted, a lot of fans last year were saying they’d “rather miss the playoffs and have Cutler in there learning, because with Plummer they’d just get embarrassed in the first round.”

That’s not an exaggeration. A lot of people actually said that.

Now, despite the fact that this current team stands about as much chance to beat New England as LetPlummerPlay.com stands to beat Google in unique views, people are getting psyched about the playoffs again. Well, if you threw in the towel last year out of “pre-embarrassment,” and are now rooting for the Broncos based on their 5% chance of a miracle, SUCK OUR FAT ONES. Don’t call US phony fans (happens a lot) if you were “glad” the Broncos missed the postseason in 2006 but are hyping 2007. Do we hope they make the playoffs? Yes. Hell yes. Say anything you want about our criticisms of people, decisions, and plays, we bleed orange and blue around here. A week of NFL football without a Broncos game is like an empty Pumpkin Pie tin on Thanksgiving—it just ain’t right!

But now is not the time to attack our allies, even the ones we disagree with. Happy Thanksgiving to all Denver fans--even the ones who hate our guts for speaking the truth when nobody wants to listen.

We give thanks for steady paychecks, a full belly, the NFL, for Pumpkin Pie managing to not get killed despite Shanahan’s crappy O-Line schemes, and for 10 years of getting to watch two NFL teams...

LET PLUMMER PLAY!!!

#6

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WAWAWEEWA!

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LPP Website....GENIUS!

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Cutler...Great?

THE NEXT BRETT FAVRE IS NO BRETT FAVRE

The Broncos finally painted themselves into a corner that Jason Elam’s foot couldn’t get them out of. A team with a running game that moves like old men and features an actual old man at quarterback just waltzed into Mile High and took another year off of Mike Shanahan’s life. Favre was having an average game up until overtime when he had a sudden moment of clarity and thought “Hey, wait a minute, I’m Brett Favre!” and promptly reminded Mile High of that fact by nailing the Bly-burning Greg Jennings for eighty-two freakin’ yards.

Horrible.

But not surprising. This wasn’t like the Pittsburgh game. Last week the team hit the field pissed-off, well rested and had a chip on their shoulders bigger than Travis Henry’s diaper bill. This week, the team was complacent after victory, the aforementioned Big Baby Daddy was out, and it seems that the “weaker” NFC was underestimated. The thing we here hate hearing the most is now that they’ve gotten over the “next Elway” bit, the media has moved on to comparisons between Pumpkin Pie and Brett Favre. Folks, can we stop? Jay Cutler has tools, but can we give the kid a break? Pumpkin is compared more to older quarterbacks than any young quarterback in quite some time. Can we let him develop his own identity, please? And another thing, no, he’s not Brett Favre. Brett Favre came over from the Falcons into a low-pressure situation with a team that had been an afterthought for 20 years and started turning heads. Then, Favre’s coach assembled a vicious defense led by racist homophobe (but otherwise generally nice guy and great player) Reggie White and suddenly the Packers were winning new fans and Super Bowls.

Pumpkin Pie, our favorite NFL pastry, is coming into a definite high-pressure situation, and for Denver fans, their two Super Bowls may as well have happened last week. He was drafted as a savior and dumped into the middle of a playoff run. Both Fav-ruh and Pump-kin possess strong arms and brains, and both throw about as many INT’s as TD’s (although incredibly, Favre’s ratio has actually improved in his 17th year in football.) But Brett Favre has the biggest pair of Q-Balls in the NFC, and therein lays the difference.

“The Mastermind” Mike Shanahan came to the party unprepared yet again. Sure, BBD was a late scratch, but remember, Shanahan’s arrogant pride in the notion that his RB’s are interchangeable is supposed to make that irrelevant. Cutler started out fine, hitting bam-bam-bam passes to put the Broncos on the board, but then a costly fumble by the Pie blew a sure score and probably kicked Cutler “squah” in whatever Q-Balls he’d been developing over the past two weeks. Pumpkin Pie was not the same for the next two possessions; Selvin Young didn’t hit his holes and Shanahan twiddled his thumbs as Green Bay padded their score with field goals. But then, as all great coaches do, Shanahan decided to trust in his best player to win an ugly game. Unfortunately, Shanahan has mismanaged this team so badly that his best player is the kicker. Jason Elam did what he was asked to do, but even Adam Vinateri can’t make a field goal equal four points instead of three, and the game went to overtime where it usually comes down to two things...coin tosses and Q-Balls. Green Bay had the double-whammy advantage and fifteen seconds later: Game over, thanks for visiting Invesco Field at Mile High, drive home safe; pick up some discounted Rockies World Series merchandise on your way out; go Nuggets.

Well, shit. Here we go again, back to square one. Now Shanahan leads his Horses into the Lions’ den in Detroit, where Jon “Jesus is my neurologist” Kitna’s promise of ten wins isn’t looking so ridiculous anymore. The Lions are coming off two strong wins against Tampa Bay and Chicago, the latter at Soldier Field. The Lions can be beaten if the Broncos get to Kitna early but they’re in a bind. The Lions just saw a Coyer defense and blew by it against Tampa. Jim Bates hasn’t been able to implement anything innovative that actually works...so Shanahan will probably go with the “Simple Simon” defense that caught Pittsburgh off guard but probably won’t be able to surprise the high-powered Detroit attack. The Lions have more good receivers than Champ Bailey can cover...whether it’s Shaun McDonald or Calvin Johnson, someone’s going to burn Bly or end up uncovered. Worst of all for Pumpkin Pie, even though the Lions give up points, they lead the league in picks. The Broncos can win simply because...screw it; we’re not trusting the Lions as contenders until after week 12, after they’ve played the Giants and Packers. They win those games? They can win the NFC. But then, anyone can win the NFC at this point (except St. Louis.)

Will they win? If they play like they did Monday night, the answer is no, no, no. So whip out the microscopes, Denver. We let the guy off the hook for one week and look what happens: A complete breakdown against a heavily flawed NFC team that went from having no running game to having some schmoe named Ryan Grant (Ryan Grant? RYAN GRANT?) kick up 100 yards of Mile High turf in Denver’s face! Can we get some accountability, Mikey? Well, don’t worry, LPP fans, we won’t be letting Shanahan relax anymore and neither should you, whether or not you supported our position that he should have...

LET PLUMMER PLAY!!!

Live To Fight Another Day

WE LIVE TO WRITE ANOTHER DAY!!!

Lo and behold, our prediction of victory rang true! The Steelers had early jitters and ended up having to play behind for most of the game...the Mile High advantage actually worked for once! The Denver Broncos won again on the foot of Jason Elam, keeping LetPlummerPlay.com alive and reinforcing the legendary phrase “…On Any Given Sunday.” Pumpkin Pie had an above average game despite a couple of ugly picks that nearly ruined everything, even leading a drive halfway up the field (aided by a Steelers penalty) to get Elam in position to be the hero yet again.

We have to admit there’s not much to complain about this week outside of inflated expectations. Hopefully, all the fans screaming “playoffs” will come to their senses. Pittsburgh is pretty good, but they’re not Indianapolis or New England, and the NFL gave the Broncos a gift by scheduling most of their toughest games at Mile High. Amazingly enough there’s still a chance to make the playoffs, simply because San Diego hasn’t hit the hard part of their schedule yet. It doesn’t look like anyone in this division is going to win more than 10 games. For the love of Christmas, Kansas City is in first place, and that team was technically worse than the Broncos before the injuries hit! The Raiders are finding out that Miami game aside, Daunte Culpepper really IS washed up, and we’re about to find out if adding Chris Chambers will be a difference maker for San Diego. The Broncos, inconsistent as they are, have as much a chance of making the playoffs as they do of dropping their next 8 games in a row. That’s nice if you like surprises, we guess.

We won’t rub salt into old wounds this week just because this is a victory and we’re still Broncos fans...duh. However, this hasn’t changed our outlook on the season or the coach one bit. Last night was a young team with low expectations playing over their heads and getting out to a fast start, and the medium-powered Steelers offense isn’t geared to play from behind; they need to grind out early leads or keep games close for 60 minutes. They aren’t going to surprise teams every week. We do think next week is winnable because media is over-hyping a Brett Favre team as usual, and the Packers are coming to Mile High with no running game.

Quite simply, it’s one of those “everyone else” years in the NFL. Parity has made the league so diluted and weak that it comes down to Patriots, Colts...and then everyone else, with only a few lucky games and bad decisions separating the 2-4 teams from the 4-2 teams, and so on. No matter what kind of record the Jags, Giants, Bucs, Chargers, Steelers, Cowboys, or yes, the Broncos put together, they aren’t going to knock off one of the big boys when it matters unless the stars align, or Brady and Manning fall off a cliff in each other’s warm embrace to spite a world that cannot accept their cannon arms and massive charisma. The problem with the Broncos is that if you know you aren’t going to win the Super Bowl, you have to at least look a team that can fool a city. It’s been easy for Shanahan to fool Denver...he’s been doing it for 8 years and running. But there’s less to work with here than usual and the base for the future is iffy. Maybe he’s got the next Joe Montana/Jerry Rice in Jay Cutler/Brandon Marshall. But even if those two develop into very good players, there’s the chance that they end up as Jim Everett/Henry Ellard, which makes for very pretty statistics...and nothing higher than Conference Title losses, which this city has deemed absolutely UNACCEPTABLE to the point of turning on certain otherwise successful parties. Shanahan is not putting a good and consistent team together and he hasn’t done it all decade. They won yesterday as we predicted and his job is safe yet again...but we’ve made other predictions too, and we haven’t been wrong a whole hell of a lot lately. To paraphrase the immortal words of The Wolf: Let’s not start sucking each other’s dicks just yet...even Buffalo won a game yesterday. One win doesn’t fix everything, it just makes Monday morning a little easier to deal with when you’re at the office ragging on a bunch of Raiders and Chargers fans (we run into this quite a bit, and frankly this is one reason we’re sick of Shanahan falling short of the Super Bowl...we want to shut up the prick in the mail room who keeps reminding us--correctly--that the Raiders have more AFC titles in the 21st century than the Broncos.)

Enjoy the small victories, Denver, but the big picture is much bleaker. When the season ends with a fizzle, just make sure you blame the right guy. The TOP guy. And why not puff up your Favorites list by adding:

LET PLUMMER PLAY!!!

Not since 1966...

WE KNEW IT WAS BAD, BUT...

Though we here at LPP often break out with a case of the Toldyaso’s when the very ineptitude we’ve been monitoring and flagging for years rears its ugly head and shreds the Broncos on a particular Sunday, we have to say in the aftermath of week 5: It’s even worse than we thought. How can we say it better than the combination of the Rocky Mountain News (Bernie Lincicome, writer) and the Mastermind himself:

Bernie Lincicome: "If Shanahan took the blame for this, it is the least he could do. His handling of Cutler so far has progressed to Cutler getting no touchdowns at all instead of his usual one or two. The crowd, had it bothered to stick around, couldn't even yell for a new quarterback. If it did, the chant would be something like, "Send in what's-his-name." Cutler is the course Shanahan has chosen, and if he never imagined it could be this bad, this bad it is. And not getting any better."

Said Shanahan: “I did a very poor job getting this football team ready. I don't know if I've ever been more embarrassed. It starts with me and I did a poor job getting them ready.”

We noticed, coach. We’ve been noticing. Now the writers who get paid to do this are saying what we’ve been handing out for free: Shanahan has championships, respect and a ton of money. Walking away would not taint his legacy. Watching him decline into a predictable, shakable, beatable coach definitely will, and the decline didn’t just start yesterday. If something drastic doesn’t occur starting at the top of the organization the season, the quarterback, the coach, and indeed the franchise’s next three to five years will be torpedoed completely.

It took Norv “Stomach” Turner of all people to cut the head off of this horse and leave it in Shanahan’s bed as bloody, gruesome proof that the game is starting to pass him by. When the list of similar coaches is reviewed, Shanahan is not in embarrassing company by any means: Chuck Noll; Tom Landry; Don Shula; Mike Ditka…all respected, all successful. All of them hit a wall at some point and had to pack it in, whether gracefully or abruptly. We’ve never said that Shanahan wasn’t a good coach in his prime. He was a perfect fit to regulate and manage a team full of All-Pro talent, which can be just as difficult as managing a team in the Belichek “minimal superstars” vein. But he is not a developmental coach. He’s not going to build a team into a real contender anymore, at least not in the head coach position. Denver came close a couple of years ago, but they’ve simply been outgunned talent-wise (particularly by flat-out loaded Colts squads) and it takes a different kind of coach than “Steady as She Goes” Shanahan to pull a lesser-talented team past a powerhouse. Also of importance is his ability to groom young players. He rarely does more than let them work out their own kinks. Jay Cutler has franchise-carrying tools, but he doesn’t know how to use them yet. He’s a project, and Mike Shanahan has never developed a young quarterback into a star; he’s only really groomed the Grieses and Grbacs of the world. That’s not something you leave on your resume.

The locker room is starting to crack (see Marshall, Brandon. Also the fondly remembered Darrent Williams spoke out last year about “quitsies,” and if anything, the guy’s many friends on the roster would have more reason to think “You know what, man? Darrent was on to something.”) The “fans” are getting the “Elway Clenches” in their sphincters and are only waiting for their condition to evolve into the stage where they start making up stupid derogatory nicknames for Jay Cutler (and don’t you dare point out “Pumpkin Pie,” that one’s done out of love.) The current roster was never going to roll to the Super Bowl, but they should be better than a team that’s two kicks away from 0-5. I mean, Holy Reversals Batman, the Raiders sat at home for their bye week and somehow ended up in first place! For once this season, Shanahan nailed it: It starts with him. It’s time for a different approach. And maybe he should have...


LET PLUMMER PLAY!!!

Big Baby Daddy!

HARD WORK GOOD, AND HARD WORK FINE, BUT FIRST TAKE CARE OF HEAD

Well, this is just f***ing great, Denver fans. Travis Henry, one of the keys to Denver’s potential success, is a hair away from getting the hammer dropped for his second league substance offense. The interesting thing here is that unlike the last few high-profile substance suspensions, Big Baby Daddy didn’t get popped for HGH or ‘roiding. No, apparently Poppa T got popped for the one lady in his life that he couldn’t knock up no matter how often he hit dat: Mary Jane.

Maybe this is a stretch, but maybe it isn’t...shouldn’t a team signing a guy with character issues and previous violations dig pretty deep on the background check? Was it simply a matter of Shanahan asking “Travis, you still hit the bong?” and Henry simply lying? Or did they even bother to check? Personally, we here at LPP don’t mind the sweet leaf so much, but when it comes down to gainful employment and keeping your ass on the field...Big Baby Daddy was just a dumbass. Problem is, despite loads of talent, it’s not like Henry didn’t have any red flags on him. Yet the Broncos rolled the dice on a man who is apparently Shawn Kemp and Ricky Williams rolled into one. Are you kidding? That’s an old-school Raider move! Henry made the mistake, but by bringing him in, Shanahan and Sundquist enabled it. Now it’s a distraction and a detriment that could turn an uneven start into a full-fledged disaster.

Selvin Young looked good last game but if Henry goes down the Broncos will have Young and Mike Bell--both undrafted--as their top RB options. That’s yet another dice roll. Any good gambler will tell you that if you keep rolling the dice, you will inevitably crap out. Within 12 months, Denver has: swapped out a veteran QB with a winning record for a rookie from a bad football school during a playoff run; sent said rookie and future franchise savior back into a season finale with a concussion; fired a competent and proven defensive coordinator after a top-ten finish with a battered lineup; and hitched the running game on a guy with knee problems, nine kids by nine women, and a suspension record.

Hopefully, Denver will at least save money on Henry’s contract, but the team has another distraction that they can’t afford. Face it fans...despite San Diego being coached by Mr. Magoo, they’re angry and cornered with a chip on their shoulder and have an MVP running back ready to take his mad out on a bottom-five rush defense. Denver and BBD will try to stretch out his appeal as long as possible for this must-win game, but the Mile High Advantage might not be enough with Henry on the hot seat, Javon Walker’s knees buckling, and both lines getting worked like a side of beef in a “Rocky” movie while Shanahan tries to pretend he’s simply staying the course. Truth is, it’s largely Shanahan’s decisions that put us in this mess, but the soft Denver press will smooth this over and divert the blame towards Travis Henry and away from the guys who put the team’s season on Big Baby Daddy’s shoulders in the first place. BBD’s herb troubles are just part of a greater problem that many poor fans are blinding themselves to. LetPlummerPlay.com is proud to be the voice of reason in these troubled times. We won’t betray you, Denver faithful! Wake up and smell the ganja! And remember the good old days when the Broncos used to...

LET PLUMMER PLAY!!!

Save The Broncos!

UPON FURTHER REVIEW

The Broncos never had a chance. We all pretended that they did for a bit, but even after Pumpkin Pie ran in the TD, it never seemed as if the Broncos put any fear into the Colts. Sure, Big Baby Daddy ran big early, but after their first breakdown, the Colts figured out how to effectively choke off the red zone for most of the game. Pumpkin Pie didn’t make a lot of mistakes, but it was going to take an outstanding effort from our favorite NFL pastry to overcome the Colts and his own team; and that kind of game just isn’t in the crust yet.

Despite the Colts losing Harrison and Addai--their 2nd and 3rd best players--for large chunks of the second half, the Broncos rolled over, blew at least one LetPlummerPlay.com staff member’s office pool (yes, he picks them to win every week...and you think we’re haters?) and are now, uh, in first place in the AFC West. This is how bad the AFC West has become. Somehow (thanks to Norv “Stomach” Turner) the Chargers have fizzled and the rest of the division is at 2-2: Raiders, Chiefs, Broncos. While we’re ecstatic that our prediction about Norv’s path of coaching destruction has actually come true, we are less excited about how the Broncos failed to take advantage of the Jaguars last week in their own house and stake out first place.

“The Mastermind” was completely lost against the Colts when Henry came up lame, and unlike Tony Dungy, when he loses both a top receiver and his best runner, Shanny does not have the roster or the back-up plan (both HIS responsibilities) to compete with the big boys anymore. Last years’ loss to the Colts was a valiant effort where the best team gutted out a victory over a slightly lesser opponent. This year was different, as the Broncos couldn’t sustain more than one or two good drives in a row and eventually gave up in the fourth quarter. There’s no fire under these Bronco’s asses, whether it’s Shanahan occasionally slipping into the Art Shell/Norv Turner zone on the sidelines, whether it’s Cutler zoning out on the bench, the offensive line falling asleep every other down, the defensive line crumbling, or simply the ENTIRE TEAM’S final collapse in the 4th quarter.

We’ll complain about him during a loss just like anyone else, but we here at LPP have come around to see Jay Cutler as both a talent and a man. We’ll make fun of the Pumpkin Pie Haircut and we’ll bitch a bit about his mistakes, but now we see why we kept the site up. We aren’t just here for Jake anymore, we’re here for all the “savior” QB’s of the Broncos who didn’t get a proper chance and were blamed for something that in the end wasn’t and isn’t their faults. Now we know there’s something bigger than the QBs to blame for all this. Brian Griese was selected to succeed Elway. Plummer was selected to bring back respect to the Broncos QB position. Cutler was brought in to start over clean and build a new franchise QB. If the first two tries didn’t work under the same head coach, why is this time going to be different? The Broncos have Pro Bowl talent at multiple positions and Shanahan reconstructed the coaching staff (again) to fit his style. It’s not working, and Jay Cutler, a legit stud prospect at QB, is going to suffer for it. Can’t you just picture Pumpkin Pie getting run out of town Griese- or Plummer-style in 3 years and then catching on to another team that will probably know how to use him?

How embarrassing is it going to be when Jay Cutler takes Carolina or Kansas City to the playoffs?

By the way, the man Shanahan blamed for the team’s defensive struggles last year went straight to Tampa Bay, and Larry Coyer has helped hone a defense that was 21st in points allowed last year (finishing 4-12) into a team that’s allowed the fewest points in the NFL and is now sitting atop its division. Gary Kubiak has people buzzing about the Texans...the Texans! The Broncos are floundering with multiple Pro Bowlers, the best secondary in the league, a QB generally considered a blue-chip prospect, and a workhorse of a running back. And the team is struggling against everyone. Maybe we’re just idiots here, but we think that kind of poor guidance starts at the top. Shanahan is no longer “The Mastermind.” He’s just another coach. If things don’t turn around soon, he’ll be just another coach who’s stuck around too long. Don’t coast on 97-98 and keep giving Shanahan a mulligan year after year. Demand excellence from the position where the Broncos need it most! If you think we’re still just insane Jake Plummer lovers, you can kiss our asses! We failed to save the Snake, but our failure is going to inspire us to do bigger things! We aren’t just out to save the last piece of Pumpkin Pie; we’re out to save the entire Broncos team! SAVE THE BRONCOS!

Start holding Shanahan accountable for HIS mistakes, Denver faithful! The team is crumbling despite a load of talent! Put the blame where it belongs and CAN THE SHAN! Trust us, it’s not just because he didn’t...

LET PLUMMER PLAY!!!