You hear that quiet sucking sound; that almost inaudible whisper? That’s the sound of another season slipping down the drain in Denver. Usually the sound is more pronounced and violent, but this is Denver. The altitude and thin air means certain things act differently. We certainly can’t act like the Falcons. No, their season didn’t slip down the drain recently, the entire Atlanta bathtub crashed through the ceiling, “Money Pit” style, before the season even started. But enough talk of tubs and drains; let’s just take that sucking sound literally. The Broncos suck, friends. They suck like Britney in Vegas on New Year’s Eve. Like Britney, they will tease you with promises of comebacks and a return to former glory. Then you get a long hard look at the performance up close.
The Broncos aren’t just “like” Britney Spears. They are the Denver Britneys; a disheveled, dingy, bloated, overrated mess of has-been that only seems relevant because many of their peers suck even worse, and it’s mainly Shanahan’s fault. It didn’t hit us until we noticed that the terrible Raiders took out the Chiefs in Arrowhead; an accomplishment that Denver fans had crowed long and hard about just two weeks ago since we hadn’t done it since the Brian Griese era. Well, turns out the Chiefs may now be the worst team West of Miami...and if those two teams played tomorrow, we might take Miami. Okay, well, there’s a little shine off of one win. Immediately after the Raiders score rolled by, we noticed that the Titans--a supposedly good team that battled the Broncos hard for 3 quarters before finally succumbing at Mile High last week--had been absolutely pasted by the (at the time) 3-7 Bengals. So apparently, the Titans actually are in a rapid decline (starting the week before the Denver game with a loss to the Jags) and again, another victory tarnished (as if playing at Mile High isn’t supposed to be like spotting the Broncos 10 points to begin with.)
We saw a lot to like about Jay Cutler yesterday. Pumpkin Pie (man, we love that name) finally has two impressive games in a row in 2007 but unfortunately, as we predicted, he only has one victory in those two games, a subtle but definite jab to any QB’s confidence (“What else do I have to do to get a win with this team???”) of the kind we’ve been predicting for nearly two years now thanks to “the Mastermind.” Shanahan made several strategic mistakes, even setting aside the fact that if it’s obvious Devin Hester is having one of “those” days, then stop giving him the freakin’ rope to choke you with and start kicking line drives and squibs. Shanahan shows no initiative when an opponent meekly shows him its throat, instead choosing to stick with “quick out-run-run-punt/run-quick out-run-punt” sequences when it was obvious that Cutler, Marshall, Scheffler and Stokley were practically going into convulsions waiting for the signal to open up the throttle on the subpar Bears secondary. Shanahan only called deep outs when his stuffy math-major’s brain told him it was proper; the players had to save a couple of busted plays on their own and made the most of them. Wasn’t this supposed to be the guy that truly opened up John Elway and Steve Young as deep threats? (Short answer: No--those two were already damn good, had All-Pro wideouts, and regularly called their own plays.)
The defense is breaking down again. The special teams were laughable. With the Bears defense deteriorated into a shadow, even the running game was just average and the only bright points came with the passing game...and even Pumpkin Pie’s passing percentage was down a hair; the secondary was just easy to beat once the receivers got space. And yet the Britneys came away with a loss in a game that they should have won handily. This is a weird year for the NFL. There are a ton of mediocre-to-bad teams (like every West team in both conferences.) The Britneys unfortunately seem to be more lucky than good when it comes to their record. They could easily be running with the Raiders at 3-8 or worse.
So we stand by our criticisms of Shanahan. Like Britney, the game has passed Shanahan by...and in both cases, anyone who’s paying attention will realize that the kids are the ones who will truly suffer for it. Save Pumpkin Pie! Save the Broncos from being the Denver Britneys! WE WANT OUR BRONCOS BACK!!! Mr. Shanahan, please retire before you’re left standing humiliated in a bra and panties with a mommy paunch on national TV, your voice shot and your former glory nothing but a hazily-remembered footnote! And we aren’t just saying this because you didn’t...
LET PLUMMER PLAY!!!
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31 comments:
You're gay!
Plummer sucks dick, A.J Feely is a better QB LOL!
You are an idiot who should not be analyzing football what so ever. Mike should in no such way retire, he is one of the best coaches the NFL has ever seen. He is in the process of re-building the broncos, in which i might add getting rid of plummer was a must do to succeed.
Next year will be the year we go to the SUPER BOWL!
andersen27, he's been in the process of rebuilding the Broncos for 10 years now.
What's your timetable? I'd love to be a contractor working on a house for you, I'd probably get to spend a year working on each room!
Did you guys know that Brett Favre uses a bowflex? What a man! I bet plummer never used one of those!
It's already been said, but it can't be said enough...Shanahan is rebuilding the Broncos? Are you on CRACK! He's been rebuilding them for exactly 10 seasons you MANIAC. Four quarterbacks and a million Running backs later, they're no better than they were in Sept of 98 you damn PENIS FACE! Sorry for the elementary language, but today, I'm just all PISSED OFF!
If you died in a fire tomorrow the world would be a better place. I'm praying for that to happen.
Plummer sucks!
hey LETPLUMMER PLAY U SUCK!!!! IF HES BEEN REBUILDING FOR TEN YEARS THEN WHY DOES HE HAVE THE BEST WINNING PERCENTAGE IN THE LAST 10 YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Go suck Jake Plummer's dick you fucking faggot!
The Yankees had the best winning percentage in all of baseball for the 1980's, something George Steinbrenner used to brag about in the years between 1979 and 1995 when the Yankees won NOTHING.
You want 16 years of NOTHING? I suppose so since we're already 10 years into it. What's 6 more? And I love the Broncos but we are FAR from being the Yankees of football. A return to glory is NOT guaranteed, especially when we keep dicking around in mediocrity.
Whoopee, we had a better record than the Patriots in the last ten years? Fucking brilliant, wow I guess we have more rings too...oh wait in this century we have ZERO.
If regular season winning percentage was everything why did every Denver fan want Jake Plummer's head? He was winning regular season games! Oh, right, that's not enough. Well apply the same logic to Shanahan, dumbass. Don't throw out meaningless bullshit like winning percentage if you apply different rules to different guys. Show me some RINGS! At least get us an AFC title if you can't get to another Super Bowl! Oh, but that's Plummer/Griese/coordinators/Sundquist's fault? Bullshit! The one constant is SHANAHAN.
Shanahan had his chance, hell he is going on chance NUMBER TEN!!! Fuck it, he's used em all up in my book.
If Cutler put up Griese's 2000 numbers and they finished 8-8, everyone would call it a vast improvement, all hail Mike.
Christ, how soon they forget in Fantasyland. All that would mean is we'd be two years from poor Pumpkin Pie's inglorious pink slip while the fans cry how he didn't live up to #7. With Shanahan in charge, that's how it's going to go...while the NFL reloads, Mike re-hashes, and he doesn't have the Hall of Famers to do it WELL anymore. Makes me sick thinking about it, I gotta go take a Shhhhanahan now.
And if you hope we die in a fire, well, we hope you get head cancer. How you like them apples, Potsy?
BEST WINNING PERCENTAGE LAST TEN YEARS 3 SUPER BOWL RINGS. FUTURE HALL OF FAME COACH. JAKE PLUMMER....... HOME PLAYING HANDBALL WITH HIMSELF
Head Coach: Mike Shanahan
Pro Career: Became the 11th head coach in Broncos history on Jan. 31, 1995. Mike Shanahan led the Broncos to back-to-back Super Bowl championships in 1997 and 1998, becoming just the fifth head coach to accomplish that feat, and is the only coach to win seven consecutive postseason games in a two-year period.
No NFL head coach has won more game than Mike Shanhan's 130 victories since the start of the 1995 season. During his NFL career, Shanahan has been a part of teams that have played in nine conference championship games and six Super Bowls.
In 27 seasons as a pro and college coach, Shanahan's teams have participated in postseason or bowl games 22 times. Under Shanahan's guidance, Denver has set and NFL record by posting the most victories in both a two-year (33, 1997-98) and three-year (46, 1996-98) period.
In the last 12 years (nine with Denver and three as offensive coordinator with the San Francisco 49ers), Shanahan's offenses have finished number one in the NFL four times, second twice, and third twice.
Shanahan was an assistant with Denver (1984-87, 1989-1991) and San Francisco (1992-94). Returned to Denver as quarterbacks coach on Oct. 16, 1989, after posting 8-12 record as the Los Angeles Raiders' head coach.
Career record: 130-79.
Background: Shanahan coached at Oklahoma (1975-76), Northern Arizona (1977), Eastern Illinois (1978), Minnesota (1979), and Florida (1980-83).
ENOUGH SAID
This is for the guy who bragged about Shanahan having the best winning percentage in the last 10 years. If you want to look at numbers here's a few to consider. From start in 1995 to now the broncos have a winning percentage of 61.24%. Jake's time with the broncos resulted in a winning percentage of 67.79. If you take out the games Jake played in, the broncos are at 61.11%. The point I'm getting at is that when looking at their time with the broncos, Jake Plummer has had better regular season success than Shanahan.
Anyway, any fool will tell you that when it comes down to it super bowl rings are what count. Hence this site repeatedly asks what Shanahan has accomplished in that department without John Elway. The answer is really dick all.
The sad thing he had some momentum built up around Plummer. The team went 13-3 and beat the patriots in the playoffs, no easy feat for any team including, theoretically, a bronco’s team under Elway
Long story short, the next season Jake gets shit on for being the supposed weakest link only to get replaced with what is currently an even weaker link. Next thing you know the Broncos spoil their playoff race and are looking to be doing the same this year whether you're ready to admit it or not.
What reason do you have to believe that the broncos would be the same or worst off than they are now with Jake Plummer starting? It's insane how people are so convinced that the steady progress he was making with the team would suddenly sink to as low as they are now.
And if the broncos were doomed to be as mediocre as they are right now with or without Jake, then what right did you have to blame everything on him?
I agree w everything you say in this post...you recognize that Plummer wouldn't have won this game either, and Cutler looked pretty good (well, at least in the 2nd half). It was all the fault of the overrated "Mastermind" who's forgotten how to manage a game. And that defense...oy gevalt...
You idiots always come on here calling us GAY! You call us gay because we supported Jake through good times and bad. Now here you are, we point out the obvious in Shanahan over a TEN YEAR period and y'all cry like babies. The only ones with any sort of MAN CRUSHES around here are all of you who think Shanahan is a MASTERMIND. John Elway who usually called HIS OWN FUCKING PLAYS was the only mastermind Denver has ever had.
PS to the douche bag who said 3 super bowl rings? Are you stupid? Or are you Mike Shanahan's wife?
Don Shula: Won 2 Super Bowls, including a perfect season. Won his last Super Bowl in 1973. Great coach. He hung around another ten years before finally making Super Bowls in 1982 and 1984 (lost both.) After that, went another ten years without winning anything and retired.
Chuck Noll: NFL Legend, winning 4 Super Bowls in the 1970s. After the 1979-80 Championship, Ol' Chuck stuck around for 11 more years without winning anything.
Tom Landry: NFL Legend, winning 2 of 5 Super Bowls his Cowboys made in the 70s. After 1978, won nothing until his "controversial" firing 11 years later (which led to the next Cowboy dynasty team.)
Mike Ditka: Coached one of the 5 gratest teams in history, the 85 Bears. Immortalized by Saturday Night Live and perhaps more closely associated with the team than any of its players...even to this day! By 1992, he was canned.
There is precedent here...GREAT COACHES NEVER STAY GREAT. Unless they retire at the top. Bill Walsh retired at the top, he even regretted it. But he never came back to the NFL to embarrass himself (hello, Mr. Gibbs?)
And unfortunately, speaking of the Redskins, LetPlummerPlay feels for the family and friends of Washington Redskins Sean Taylor, who died from gunshot wounds inflicted while defending his home with a machete. That's a man, baby. That's a man. Respect to Sean Taylor, rest in peace, guy.
HEY LET PLUMMER PLAY HE DOES HAVE 3SUPER BOWL RINGS 2 WITH THE BRONCOS 1 WITH THE 49ERS. (AS AN OFFENSIVE COORDIATOR) NOW LETS COUNT 2 + 1 = 3 DO YOU NEED ME TOO SHOW MY WORK?
Haaa...he got you good.
Oh wait, who gives a shit about coordinator rings? Norv Turner has two SB Rings as an offensive coordinator but they don't mean crap because RIGHT NOW he's a shitty coach RIGHT NOW. Yet Norv's team has a better record than Shanahans while playing tougher teams! FUCK SHANAHAN, HE'S WASHED UP AND READY FOR A COLLEGE JOB.
Oh that's how we're doing it? Then Phil Jackson has 11 rings, why the hell does everyone say he only has 9? Are you an idiot...Well Phil has one from the CBA and one as a player, so shouldn't we count 11? NO DICKWEED...we count 9, because as a head coach for the National Basketball Association he has 9.
Mike Shanahan as a head coach for the National Football League has two, and he thanks John Elway for those 2 every night, well and Terrell Davis.
Mike Shanahan has done nothing in 10 years, plain and simple, even if he was great, for ONE DECADE he has been below average, time for change.
This site sucks.... Isn't Jake Plummer Retired?
Second-year quarterback Jay Cutler, who is fourth in the league in yards per pass attempt (7.95) this year, last week played the 16th game of his career. His 3,385 passing yards and 22 touchdown passes both mark the fourth-highest totals through a player's first 16 games among those who entered the NFL since 2000.
Second-year quarterback Jay Cutler, who is fourth in the league in yards per pass attempt (7.95) this year, last week played the 16th game of his career. His 3,385 passing yards and 22 touchdown passes both mark the fourth-highest totals through a player's first 16 games among those who entered the NFL since 2000.
Second year quarterback Jay Cutler, who finished his college career at a miserable 11wins and 35 losses has brought his streak into the NFL. After a full 16 starts, Culters record is at 7 wins and 9 losses. Unfortunately most already know, there is no way in HELL he will equaly Jake Plummers Bronco record of 39 Wins and 15 Losses in 3 1/2 years.
That point is all well and good, but Cutler doesn't play defense and last I checked the Broncos defense has been ravaged with injuries and incompentence since the end of last year. It is simply what he has to deal with. Plummer's record may not be much better if he had the defense that Cutler deals with. Plummer had that same kind of rap with the Cardinals. The Cards were and still are notorious for incompetence from the owner on down.
I personally think you are a nut, but your site is entertaining and funny. You may want to lay off the vulgarity in case you have some younger net browsers.
Plummer doesn't give a fuck about you guys!!! Stop wasting your time in defending Plummer, because he's retired!! He's away from football forever!! He likes not playing football, and yet you faggots are over here wanting him to play it again. Fucking idiots, get a life!
PLUMMER SUCKS PLUMMER SUCKS PLUMMER SUCKS PLUMMER SUCKS PLUMMER SUCKS!!!!
oh my god, if you don´t like plummer...why don´t you stay away?
Plummer was a rude piece of ungrateful shit!!!
I actually liked that part about Jake very much. Reminds me of myself.
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