Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Tampa Bay...stop crying!

This is a story about a group of billionaires who are trying to use their traditional "legal" bulldozer tactics (utilized by NFL owners for decades) against a guy who just wanted to retire.

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers are starting the process of suing Jake Plummer for a big chunk of the $7,000,000 in bonus money that he was awarded by the Denver Broncos in 2003, some of which (as a result of last year's infamous trade) is counted against the Bucs' salary cap. Tampa was also fining him throughout 2007 for missing training camp, practices, and games.

First of all, we'll speak from the heart here, and this will definitely be the part of this posting where people will say "you guys are idiots." Hey, Tampa Bay (specifically GM Bruce Allen and the trust-fund-baby sons of ailing billionaire Malcolm Glazer)--just release the guy and agree he's, you know, RETIRED. Admit you should have kicked the tires before buying the car. Admit to jumping the gun on a trade and making a mistake. Live with it. Maybe before trading for the multi-million-dollar contract of a guy who plays what is supposed to be the "most important position" on a football team, you should find out if the guy actually wants to play for you, and when he says no...DON'T MAKE THE TRADE! Well, Jake didn't want to play any more. And he retired. And he went away, out of the public eye. And that's not good enough for Tampa Bay's front office.

The Glazer family is worth at least two billion dollars. That's "billion" with a "B." They want Jake to be held accountable for seven million dollars (that, oh by the way, the Broncos paid him, not the Bucs,)
because it represents a big fat mistake on the Buccaneers salary cap that the team's decision makers were blatantly warned about when they went ahead and traded for Plummer anyway--one day after Plummer made no bones about not wanting to go to Tampa.

Let's face it, in some form or another most NFL teams make yearly salary cap "mistakes" that range from one to twenty million dollars...but none of the other owners and GMs cry about it and try to get store credit. On the morning of Friday May 3rd 2007 the Broncos and Bucs put together the Plummer-for-a-pick deal but had not yet pulled the trigger. In the same afternoon, media sources widely reported that Jake Plummer had essentially told everyone he knew that he would rather retire than pull up his roots and play 3500 miles from his comfort zone.

On Saturday May 4th 2007, the Buccaneers shrugged their shoulders and rolled the dice anyway. And Jake, true to his word, retired from football, assuming that Tampa Bay would do what every other NFL team does when a guy under contract retires: accept the retirement and release him from his contract.

See, this is what pisses us off the most, and it's a huge point to make when looking at the big picture of NFL owners vs. players. The NFL, more than any other sports organization, has power over their players union and by definition their players, the guys who play with the possibilty of a thankless permanent injury nearly every time the ball is snapped. Between their personal law dogs and damn-near corrupt influence with city, state, and even federal governments (as multi-billion-dollar money machines for regional economies,) an NFL team will rarely lose when they decide to make an example of someone in court. The only people who ever seem to successfully challenge NFL owners are --surprise-- other owners (Al Davis and Jerry Jones are the first to come to mind.) So now, a team with roughly the third-deepest pockets in the NFL is going after a guy who, by all accounts, just wants to retire and be left alone. Bucs GM Bruce Allen said this back in June:

“You can’t unilaterally retire as a player in the NFL,” said Allen. “That’s because you have a contract.”

Well said. But this, of course, begs the question "When is a contract not necessarily a contract?"

Oh right...
NFL contracts are only guaranteed to the TEAM--

--not the PLAYER.

ANY team can "unilaterally" cut ANY player and void ANY contract whenever the team wants.
That's why up-front bonuses exist in the first place! Denver (remember, not Tampa Bay) paid Jake X-amount of up-front bonus dollars (as every team pays nearly every notable player) to sign a contract stipulating that if Jake wanted to play football in the years covered by the contract, it would be with Denver...and they would pay him a designated salary if they decided to keep him. However, NFL teams reserve the right to release any player without having to paying them for the remaining years on the contract.

Denver did not want to do this because they already had paid him the signing bonus and did not want to simply trash a good starting player with nothing to show for it--especially if Jake decided to sign with another team (and proved Mike Shanahan wrong.) Now, Tampa Bay doesn't want to do the same thing, for two reasons:

1. Bruce Allen and whichever Glazer okayed the deal don't want to look stupid. They traded for a guy who had already said "I DON'T WANT TO BE TRADED TO TAMPA" and the guy was true to his word. The Bucs made a bone-headed decision when they should have just left Denver twisting in the wind. If the Snake had no takers, the Broncos would have to simply release Jake (or act like dicks the way Tampa is acting now, however, Denver's upper management doesn't seem to have the same stick up their asses that Tampa's does--Shanahan still has a job, doesn't he? Think that happens in San Diego or Dallas after ten years of no Super Bowl?)

2. The Tampa Bay franchise, as part of the overall NFL conglomerate (stop thinking of it as a sport for a second, folks, and see it for the cold corporate machine it actually is) does not want to set precedent by letting this kind of situation slide.

If Jake Plummer is allowed to retire with no "consequence" other than GIVING UP SEVENTEEN MILLION DOLLARS he would get by suiting up for the '08 and '09 years of his contract, the NFL owners would eventually have to deal with someone down the line, whether it's next week or ten years from now, who decides to use retirement as a tool to get out of an undesirable contract and sign with a team of his choice.
NFL owners are rich white men. Rich white men do not like being made fools of and they really do not like giving their money to people who have crossed them. They would rather keep a guy under contract and sue him later to make him an example than give the guy his way and actually spend less money by cutting the teams losses. This is what's happening to Jake Plummer. The Bucs would rather keep him under contract for 17 million bucks and sue him for a prorated chunk of seven million, rather than lose face by simply releasing him, saving his contract money, and taking a bite out of their salary cap that their own stubbornness is responsible for. The worst part is they put on big fake smiles and pretend to want Jake in uniform for 2008 just so they can use those lies to back up their court case. Why would Tampa Bay want to pay Jake Plummer starter's money when it's obvious that barring injury he'd be a backup behind Jeff Garcia, who nailed the 2008 job down with a gutsy 2007? Answer: THEY DON'T. They really do want to just cut him. But those kinds of public statements make it easier to maintain a "hurt" position in court against Jake.

We aren't asking anyone to feel sorry for Jake. He's got money, friends, family, a beautiful wife, and last we checked he had one of those sweet two-tone Honda Elements, though it was an '05 or '06 and he may have traded it in by now. However, we ask our few but proud readers to look at this situation as another example of a little guy being leaned on by a ruthless bully. Tampa Bay violated one of the oldest rules of business: caveat emptor--Let the buyer beware--and now they don't want to be stuck with the check. Well, excuse us, but last we checked, if you buy a Buccaneers season ticket you don't get your money back if you simply decide not to show up for the games. You certainly don't get a refund if they lose! And if Jake Plummer had said "Wow, I really want to play for Tampa Bay, let's do this!" the team could still have cut him, with no obligation to pay the remainder of his contract, any damn time they pleased. But despite Jake's warning of retirement, the Bucs went ahead anyway and traded away a draft pick and cap space. Now the Buccaneers want Jake to dip into his own pockets to cover their mistake. We say that no matter how the legality of this situation is properly interpreted, Jake Plummer is being bullshitted by Tampa Bay and (logically) by the NFL as a whole.

Jake the Snake Plummer may not seem like a "little guy" to us average citizens who make 5-figure incomes. However, when compared to the combined 100+ billion dollar empire that is the NFL, he definitely qualifies for "little guy" status, and the big guys are trying to push a little guy around. In today's America, isn't that happening far too often? Aren't we average Joes getting crapped on daily by corporations who are taking more of our time, money, and even our careers whenever they feel like doing so--with the rules bent squarely in their favor?

Write to the NFL and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, or to any NFL team, or to your favorite sportswriter, and tell them that the Bucs need to stop here! Lay off Jake the Snake, Tampa Bay! You bet against the dealer and you lost--AFTER you saw the cards! Don't turn around and blame the cards!

So whether you like Jake Plummer, hate Jake Plummer, or simply dislike David getting the shaft from Goliath, send a letter to:

Tom Carter - Regional Director
NFL Players Association
1133 20th St, N.W.
Washington, DC 20036
800-372-2000 ex 119

Bruce Allen - General Manager (and/or Bryan Glazer - Executive VP, and/or Joel Glazer - Executive VP...but don't bother Malcolm)
Tampa Bay Buccaneers
One Buccaneer Place
Tampa FL 33607

or to:

Roger Goodell - Commissioner
NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE HEADQUARTERS
280 Park Ave., 15th Fl.
New York, NY 10017
Phone: 212-450-2000
Fax: 212-681-7599

Or comment to NFL.com, the NFLPA, or Buccaneers.com (not recommended, most companies could give two shits about their website's comment box.)

and tell them to...

LET PLUMMER BE!!!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Unfortunate necessity


Because there are children out there who have way too much free time, letplummerplay.com will be switching to "registered users only" on our comments page.

We realize a few people may find this a waste of their time, but it's easier for us than having to clean up 500 posts by a confused little boy who struggles with his own sexuality and takes it out on others by calling them homophobic names. It's pretty easy to sign up for a blogger.com or Google account (and there are like 4 other ways to post, AOL/AIM accounts, LiveJournal, OpenID, etc...) so take 10 seconds out of your day and register so we can view your comments!

LET PLUMMER PLAY--BRIGHTENING YOUR DAY!!!

Okay that proved something

Boy, talk about us being wrong. Looks like we're only good at being right where Mike Shanahan's concerned.

Maybe we've underestimated Norv Turner, eh?
His QB went down, his top RB went down, his star TE was hobbled, and the Chargers still knocked off the reigning champs in their own yard. Hey, that's more than Mike Shanahan's done this millennium, right? Please don't argue this point. Shanny's never done anything special in the playoffs with a damaged-goods roster, even a mildly-bruised one. He couldn't motivate an albino to get out of the sun. He's very much a point-and-click coach. Now, we couldn't tell you what kind of coach Norv Turner is ("bad" is usually the first thing that comes to mind.) But today Norv Turner (NORV TURNER!!!) did something Mike Shanahan could never do...topple Tony Dungy's Colts in a playoff game.

So, good for Norv.

Oh wait, screw you Norv, and screw the Chargers too. Screw the Patriots, while we're at it. And the people behind the DirecTV NFL monopoly. And the terrible announcers on ESPN Monday Night Football. And that horrific Tyler Perry "comedy" they keep showing commercials for when we're trying to watch basketball. And finally, screw hangovers.

What we're really trying to say is...

Somebody, please...

LET PLUMMER PLAY!!!

Friday, January 11, 2008

Where was all this aggression during the season?


Daniel Graham just got arrested for beating up a bedpost at his ex-girlfriend's house. Outstanding. That makes the fifth member of Denver's 2007 roster (okay, David Kircus is stretching it, but he did collect a paycheck) to get cuffed for stupidity in the last 365 days.

The Broncos won't be breaking the Bengals' overall record for arrests in a single year, but they're certainly trying, aren't they? Maybe Graham wants to be moved? Tony Scheffler almost completely took Graham out of the Broncos' TE picture this year. Either way, stupid move, Daniel. After Sauerbrun gave that poor cabdriver a drunken-rage smackdown, you'd think Denver players would know better.

And to think there are Denver fans who want the team to go after Chad Johnson. Lord have mercy.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Does this count as "Pro-Shanahan?"


Probably not. But if Shanahan decides to cut the spoiled whiner loose we won't shed a tear.

Sunday, January 6, 2008

This proves nothing

The Chargers win!

So f***ing what. We hope Chargers fans aren't getting their hopes up thinking Norv has reversed the curse or anything. The Titans were getting by on spit and chewing gum even before Vince Young went gimpy and about 24 other players got hurt. Meanwhile, all Marty Schottenheimer did was come within two points of some little team from New England that you may have heard of and get canned for his troubles.

Actually, we do hope Chargers fans are getting their hopes up. It's always funny to see them deflate and disperse to after mid-January to their boring lives of animal parks, 90% perfect beach weather, close proximity to Mexican party towns, great microbrewers, five-star restaurants, and ridiculously diverse lineup of smoking hot chicks. You know what? F*** you, San Diego. (What was Eli Manning thinking, anyway?) Back to business; the only chance, outside of sheer blind "what-the-deuce?" luck, of San Diego beating Indianapolis is if Peyton Manning shreds a rotator cuff while giving a Priceless Pep Talk on Wednesday. San Diego's defensive stats were well-padded by an unusually bad year for AFC West offenses and trusting Philip Rivers in a big game is like trusting Britney Spears to pick up a kid from soccer practice.

Annnnd checking in around the rest of the West...the Raiders are going back and forth with the status of defensive coordinator Rob Ryan (you know, the caveman.)


Keeping Ryan would be good news for Denver, at least twice a year. The Raiders have been tissue paper against the run for most of Ryan's tenure and probably won't get much better. JaMarcus Russell looks like...well, he doesn't look good, but maybe it's because he's got a bunch of glorified #3 receivers to throw to. You know, Oakland could really use a Randy Moss-type of wideout, it would really...oh. Never mind.

Speaking of nutjobs...


Herm Edwards fired a bunch of assistants. This means Crazy Hermy is keeping his job despite the Chiefs alternating between a bottom-10 team (with Larry Johnson) and (our opinion) the worst team in football (without Larry Johnson.) Hermy's assembled of a team of nobodies and second-stringers around an aging tight end and a workhorse back who now looks to be injury-prone for the rest of his career...which pretty much sums up every Chiefs running back in the last 20 years. Does this mean no HBO show this summer?

Finally, we're waiting on Mike Shanahan's ninth annual "we need to improve" press conference in which he will not announce he is leaving and will probably not fire buddy Jim Bates and also not announce that the Broncos will be pursuing Rex Ryan, Mike Tice, Monte Kiffin, Jason Garrett, Tony Sparano, or any other top-flight assistant coach who could possibly undercut his absolute authority or *gasp* threaten to swipe the head coaching job!

(Somewhere Dan Reeves just felt the hairs raise on the back of his neck.)

Personally, we're hoping for a return to glory for the AFC West as a whole, led by a crop of young, talented quarterbacks. Unfortunately, you've got a guy who held out for money--big potential head case red flag there--with no one to throw to (JaMarcus Russell); an inconsistent whiner who can't figure out how to maximize the best TE and RB in the AFC (Philip Rivers); and the best of the bunch, an intelligent and athletic gunslinger--whose "blockers" might get him killed and whose best two receivers have recently thrown tantrums (Pumpkin Pie). We hope Jay Cutler does some heavy resistance training, maybe does some MMA/wrestling workouts to get ready for the pounding he takes next year, assuming the Broncos' offensive line strategies don't change dramatically. Oh, and if you're thinking to yourself "hey, you forgot Brodie Croyle." No, we didn't.

Still, the Broncos have been in worse shape than this...just not in this century. The Chiefs will stink again next year, the Raiders can't even get to .500 unless an Adrian Peterson-sized miracle falls into their laps on draft day (ain't happening,) and with Norv at the helm, you still can't trust the Chargers. The problem with all of this is, of course, is that the Broncos will be staying the course with what's been failing to get them over the hump for nine-going-on-ten years.

This is the year Denver must place all expectations and blame on Mike Shanahan's shoulders. If they fail to make the playoffs next year, anyone still defending Shanahan is a grade-A moron. There, we said it...again. Take your sympathy and decade-old memories of #7 and hang on tight to them, Shanafans...that's what you seem to be best at. Well, that and calling us homosexuals on the comments board, but those particular 13-year-olds are probably just waiting to come out of the closet when their voices finish changing.

Anyway, enjoy the Bronco-less playoffs as much as you possibly can, people. We'll be here, waiting for next season and hoping for the announcement that the Snake will un-retire and some saavy team will...

LET PLUMMER PLAY!!!