This proves nothing

The Chargers win!

So f***ing what. We hope Chargers fans aren't getting their hopes up thinking Norv has reversed the curse or anything. The Titans were getting by on spit and chewing gum even before Vince Young went gimpy and about 24 other players got hurt. Meanwhile, all Marty Schottenheimer did was come within two points of some little team from New England that you may have heard of and get canned for his troubles.

Actually, we do hope Chargers fans are getting their hopes up. It's always funny to see them deflate and disperse to after mid-January to their boring lives of animal parks, 90% perfect beach weather, close proximity to Mexican party towns, great microbrewers, five-star restaurants, and ridiculously diverse lineup of smoking hot chicks. You know what? F*** you, San Diego. (What was Eli Manning thinking, anyway?) Back to business; the only chance, outside of sheer blind "what-the-deuce?" luck, of San Diego beating Indianapolis is if Peyton Manning shreds a rotator cuff while giving a Priceless Pep Talk on Wednesday. San Diego's defensive stats were well-padded by an unusually bad year for AFC West offenses and trusting Philip Rivers in a big game is like trusting Britney Spears to pick up a kid from soccer practice.

Annnnd checking in around the rest of the West...the Raiders are going back and forth with the status of defensive coordinator Rob Ryan (you know, the caveman.)


Keeping Ryan would be good news for Denver, at least twice a year. The Raiders have been tissue paper against the run for most of Ryan's tenure and probably won't get much better. JaMarcus Russell looks like...well, he doesn't look good, but maybe it's because he's got a bunch of glorified #3 receivers to throw to. You know, Oakland could really use a Randy Moss-type of wideout, it would really...oh. Never mind.

Speaking of nutjobs...


Herm Edwards fired a bunch of assistants. This means Crazy Hermy is keeping his job despite the Chiefs alternating between a bottom-10 team (with Larry Johnson) and (our opinion) the worst team in football (without Larry Johnson.) Hermy's assembled of a team of nobodies and second-stringers around an aging tight end and a workhorse back who now looks to be injury-prone for the rest of his career...which pretty much sums up every Chiefs running back in the last 20 years. Does this mean no HBO show this summer?

Finally, we're waiting on Mike Shanahan's ninth annual "we need to improve" press conference in which he will not announce he is leaving and will probably not fire buddy Jim Bates and also not announce that the Broncos will be pursuing Rex Ryan, Mike Tice, Monte Kiffin, Jason Garrett, Tony Sparano, or any other top-flight assistant coach who could possibly undercut his absolute authority or *gasp* threaten to swipe the head coaching job!

(Somewhere Dan Reeves just felt the hairs raise on the back of his neck.)

Personally, we're hoping for a return to glory for the AFC West as a whole, led by a crop of young, talented quarterbacks. Unfortunately, you've got a guy who held out for money--big potential head case red flag there--with no one to throw to (JaMarcus Russell); an inconsistent whiner who can't figure out how to maximize the best TE and RB in the AFC (Philip Rivers); and the best of the bunch, an intelligent and athletic gunslinger--whose "blockers" might get him killed and whose best two receivers have recently thrown tantrums (Pumpkin Pie). We hope Jay Cutler does some heavy resistance training, maybe does some MMA/wrestling workouts to get ready for the pounding he takes next year, assuming the Broncos' offensive line strategies don't change dramatically. Oh, and if you're thinking to yourself "hey, you forgot Brodie Croyle." No, we didn't.

Still, the Broncos have been in worse shape than this...just not in this century. The Chiefs will stink again next year, the Raiders can't even get to .500 unless an Adrian Peterson-sized miracle falls into their laps on draft day (ain't happening,) and with Norv at the helm, you still can't trust the Chargers. The problem with all of this is, of course, is that the Broncos will be staying the course with what's been failing to get them over the hump for nine-going-on-ten years.

This is the year Denver must place all expectations and blame on Mike Shanahan's shoulders. If they fail to make the playoffs next year, anyone still defending Shanahan is a grade-A moron. There, we said it...again. Take your sympathy and decade-old memories of #7 and hang on tight to them, Shanafans...that's what you seem to be best at. Well, that and calling us homosexuals on the comments board, but those particular 13-year-olds are probably just waiting to come out of the closet when their voices finish changing.

Anyway, enjoy the Bronco-less playoffs as much as you possibly can, people. We'll be here, waiting for next season and hoping for the announcement that the Snake will un-retire and some saavy team will...

LET PLUMMER PLAY!!!