Friday, August 28, 2009

Brandon Marshall is a whining little baby.


The saga continues for Brandon Marshall. Now he's acting like an immature dick on the field as well as off, and the Denver Broncos are sick of it. They've suspended him indefinitely for the preseason, but will now have even more trouble trading him for anything valuable. B-Marsh's transformation from mere flake to full-on rectal tumor is complete, and few teams really want to inject themselves with cancer like that--especially since Marshall is in his walk year.

The Broncos, knowing they have little chance at Super Bowl glory anyway, are between a rock and a hard place. Trade him for junk? Not an option. They don't want to hand him over to a contender like, say, New England or New York because he'd magically shape up like Randy Moss and eventually, history paints the Broncos as the team that made a terrible, terrible trade.

Suspend him for the season? As much as Denver fans hate a whiner, they hate a losing team far, far more, and benching B-Marsh could bite Josh McDaniels right in his Belichick-cloned ass.

And if they just let Brandon play? Uh...Marshall has already demonstrated the temperament of a nine-year-old who got an old PS2 instead of the Wii he really wanted from Santy Claus. As talented as he may be, sending B-Marsh out to do whatever he feels like doing that Sunday is suicide for a team saddled with Kyle Orton and Chris Simms, who may be competent QB's but aren't miracle workers.

It's going to be a long, strange year for Broncos fans, especially with this drunk-driving, woman-beating, thug-taunting, trade-demanding lil' whiner on board. Considering how things went with Cutler, it's surprising Bowlen hasn't given B-Marsh the same treatment and shipped him out. Or maybe that's exactly why they haven't traded him.

Either way, WOO-HOO! GO BRONCOS! SUPER BOWL BAYBEEEEE!!!

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