Week 2

Not only do we give you a Week 1 wrap up, but for all you Jake fans, here's a new video as well!


Before we begin this week’s dissertation, we’d like to apologize for not updating last week. Our sadness at not seeing “PLUMMER 16” on the field kind of sucked the motivation right out of us. We would also like to make an announcement: LetPlummerPlay.com has decreed that Jay Cutler’s nickname shall now and forever be “Pumpkin Pie” for reasons we shall explain some other day. If you think about it, it makes perfect sense.

Well, the Broncos pulled out a squeaker last week and are going into an almost assured Week 2 victory against the slightly improved but still completely not scary Raiders. Pumpkin Pie was impressive for at least part of the game, putting together a drive that he obviously picked up by watching some of Jake Plummer’s many comebacks. Of course, giving Pumpkin credit for the whole victory wouldn’t be proper, as Travis “Big Baby Daddy” (also considered: “Eight ISN’T Enough”) Henry piled on the rushing yards and the greatest defensive backfield in the league began their 16-game, 9-city “Quarterbacks’ Nightmare” tour. Of course, if Jason Elam hadn’t uncharacteristically shanked a pair, the comeback might not have been necessary, but since this was a rare uneven day for mighty Elam (and since John Elway was never a kicker in Denver,) his job is probably safe and the fans won’t be calling for his head on a platter garnished with Rocky Mountain Oysters and garlic sauce. Not that the loyal Denver fans would ever do that...

Pumpkin Pie should have a nice season as long as Big Baby Daddy and Javon Walker stay healthy, and if the defense can hold up for an entire season instead of turning into Polk High after week 10. While we still think Jake could have got it done this year since it appears Shanahan’s ready to at least start trying again, we do wish Jay the best of luck. After all, if Pumpkin doesn’t go to a Super Bowl in the next 3 years, we know what’s coming for the poor seasonal dessert--angry mobs, torches and pitchforks. As the Snake and Brian Griese can tell you, it ain’t pretty. We’ll know for sure when the Broncos play the big boys.

As we’ve said previously, the Broncos have no excuse—NONE—for missing the playoffs. How good they really are beyond round one will be determined by their tough October stretch (well, starting 9/30) of Colts-Chargers-bye-Steelers, and how they do at Chicago in November. However, outside of one more Chargers game, the Broncos schedule has more pushovers than a dominos tournament. They get two punches at Larry Johnson and the Team Formerly Known as the Chiefs; two vs. the Raiders, coached by Lil’ Lane Kiffin--who might be drawing up strategies based on his favorite Tecmo Bowl plays; Bills (check,) Jags, Packers, Lions, Titans, Texans, Vikings. Not one contender in the bunch; Confucious say: “Creampuff seldom beat Pumpkin Pie.”

Denver already came close to blowing what should have been a patsy game...no excuses please; the Bills are mediocre until they prove otherwise, in Buffalo or not. They should lay serious smack down on the Raiders Sunday, since the Raiders could barely keep up with the one-dimensional Lions in their own stadium. If all goes as it should they’ll pummel the Raiders at Mile High and we might even put up “GREAT PUMPKIN” as a headline or something.

So go Broncos--no excuses, boys! Now pardon us while we fire up the ol’ Playstation so we can...

LET PLUMMER PLAY!!!