Lest everyone think we're total "neighsayers" (get it? GET IT?) who have turned on our beloved horsies, Let Plummer Play! presents...
The top 10 reasons why the Denver Broncos will win the Super Bowl this coming season:
10. Donald Rumsfeld (pictured above) will be signed as a lineman, as Shanahan assumes a guy who was Secretary of Defense should be able to play defense as well or better than the sorry squad did last year.
9. Money saved by getting rid of Andrew Mason, Jim Sundquist, the entire PR department, and Jason Elam can be used to bribe Shawne Merriman with 6,000 pounds of steroid-injected raw beef.
8. Jay Cutler will lose a bet in training camp and shave his signature Pumpkin Pie haircut. His field vision will increase by 60% with the horizontal bang line blocking the top of his sight removed and enable him to throw 40 touchdowns.
7. John Elway will be hired as general manager and motivate the entire roster by giving each player a free slightly-used Toyota Corolla.
6. We've sent Jake Plummer a really nice e-mail and he's agreed to lift the voodoo curse he cast upon the team the day Cutler was drafted. Of course, we also have to contact Brian Griese to find out what kind of hex he laid down back in '02.
5. New defensive coordinator Bob Slowik is actually the reincarnation of Vince Lombardi.
4. Shanahan will convince George W. Bush that Sadaam Hussein is actually still alive and living in the New England area.
3. Pat Bowlen has requisitioned 3 more feet of soil, and is renaming the stadium "Invesco Field at Mile and a Yard High" to increase the built-in home-field advantage.
2. Hoping that good things come in threes, Mike Shanahan has entered negotiations with Eli and Peyton Manning's older brother Cooper Manning to replace Javon Walker at wideout.
1. After the 0-3 start, four words: Head Coach Rod Smith.
10. Donald Rumsfeld (pictured above) will be signed as a lineman, as Shanahan assumes a guy who was Secretary of Defense should be able to play defense as well or better than the sorry squad did last year.
9. Money saved by getting rid of Andrew Mason, Jim Sundquist, the entire PR department, and Jason Elam can be used to bribe Shawne Merriman with 6,000 pounds of steroid-injected raw beef.
8. Jay Cutler will lose a bet in training camp and shave his signature Pumpkin Pie haircut. His field vision will increase by 60% with the horizontal bang line blocking the top of his sight removed and enable him to throw 40 touchdowns.
7. John Elway will be hired as general manager and motivate the entire roster by giving each player a free slightly-used Toyota Corolla.
6. We've sent Jake Plummer a really nice e-mail and he's agreed to lift the voodoo curse he cast upon the team the day Cutler was drafted. Of course, we also have to contact Brian Griese to find out what kind of hex he laid down back in '02.
5. New defensive coordinator Bob Slowik is actually the reincarnation of Vince Lombardi.
4. Shanahan will convince George W. Bush that Sadaam Hussein is actually still alive and living in the New England area.
3. Pat Bowlen has requisitioned 3 more feet of soil, and is renaming the stadium "Invesco Field at Mile and a Yard High" to increase the built-in home-field advantage.
2. Hoping that good things come in threes, Mike Shanahan has entered negotiations with Eli and Peyton Manning's older brother Cooper Manning to replace Javon Walker at wideout.
1. After the 0-3 start, four words: Head Coach Rod Smith.
2 comments:
Hey I love Jay's haircut it makes him look sexy!!!
Jay Cutler got a new haircut!!
http://www.denverpost.com/broncos/ci_8771219
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