A dream date with Pumpkin Pie

"Please ref, blow a whistle! BLOW THE DAMN WHISTLE! HELP!"

-

Apparently someone over at Fox Sports thinks Jay Cutler needs a woman. At the bottom of his recent column, John Czarnecki writes:

"I am hoping that Broncos quarterback Jay Cutler has a significant other. Now, that he has been diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes he needs someone looking after him.

My wife has had diabetes for the past 25 years and it is a strange disease in that low blood sugar can cause a diabetic to act erratically. There is nothing scarier than watching a diabetic go into insulin shock, putting the patient one step closer to a coma."

Geez, way to make Cutler feel better about this, John. I'm sure it's a genuine sentiment, but Jay's likely thought long and hard about things like insulin shock and (as the writer later mentions) limb amputation. Maybe he doesn't have a girlfriend (or does he?) but he does have a family, friends, and an entire football franchise to make sure he doesn't suddenly decide to throw out his insulin and hit Krispy Kreme with a flask of Jim Beam.

With that in mind, we wonder if Jay's found that special woman yet. Are you that special woman? Are you that sexy turkey dinner that won't be complete without a big ol' slice of Pumpkin Pie? Send us an email or drop a comment and tell us why you would be the perfect girl for Jay. Don't worry, we'll accept comments from gay men (or straight men who are just a teeny bit gay for Jay) as well. We're a very progressive blog here.

We can't guarantee you a date with Jay, but we can at least guarantee to spread your words of love all over this web page.

Oh, and if you love Jake Plummer even better! Wait, what a silly thing to say..."if you love Jake"...what were we thinking? Everyone should love Jake Plummer. Only fools do not!