Another Reason Why Kansas City Will Never Win A Super Bowl In This Century

In KC, snitchin' is bitchin'.

Slim Pickens was right. The Kansas City Chiefs have released their 2008-09 "Fan Code of Conduct" aka the "Fun Police Handbook." Thanks to Yahoo! and Pro Football Talk, the world has been informed that the Chiefs not only wish to discourage their fans from standing up during games, but that they're implementing a text-message snitch system. Yes, now Arrowhead Stadium patrons can anonymously rat out fans in their section who are offending them without actually having to stand up in front of their kids and show them that the old man don't take no shit from fat drunk with a giant red "K" painted on his bulbous gut. We aren't in love with obnoxious slobs who think they're part of the entertainment either, but if you want to watch games in a quiet, inoffensive, controlled environment then stay home and sit down, Waldo. Real fans go to games to scream and stomp and jump and shout about their favorite team (alcohol optional but recommended.) If you want to improve the fan experience, Kansas City, why not prohibit children under age 2 from the stadium and hire more damn security?

Seriously, this text-message snitch dealie is the biggest whiny-baby-pussy thing in sports since the No Fun League clamped down on touchdown and sack dances. Look, if Champ Bailey knocks the wind out of Randy Moss, and Boss Bailey scoops up the loose ball and gets a TD out of it, don't you want to see them do the Kid N' Play "House Party" dance all the way down the sideline? We do.

Of course, it's entirely possible that this rule appears in the Broncos' policies too. But until a similar Denver policy is confirmed, we don't care. And even if it is, this is Kansas City we're talking about.

Screw Kansas City!