Saturday, December 29, 2007

The end is near...

The playoffs are near, the Patriots are chasing perfection, Brett Favre is looking to ice his Hall of Fame cake, Michael Vick is practicing his grip on the soap, and the Denver Broncos are making January vacation plans for the second year in a row. It's been a topsy-turvy year for the NFL, and it's been a strange season of ups and downs. Actually, some might say it's been one of the all-time great years for the NFL. Of course, the only people saying this are writers who are paid to make average fans like you and me think stupid thoughts like this. The NFC is 90% irrelevant and the AFC is severely top-heavy. Case in point: there are only two teams west of Texas that don't stink, and only one team east of Pennsylvania that matters in the slightest. This wouldn't be a problem if everything in between was fine, but there's inconsistency across the rest of the board as well.

We here at LetPlummerPlay.com have mixed feelings about the end of the 2007 regular season. On the one hand, we're sad to see the Broncos run out of games. On the other hand, thank God they're not going to be getting brutally embarrassed anymore this year. With the new year upon us, we would like to present our few loyal readers with LetPlummerPlay.com's New Year's Resolutions:

1. We resolve to continue our undying support of that beleaguered specimen, the "Denver Quarterback Who is Forever Shadowed By the Ghost of John Elway." This means we will back our favorite NFL pastry, Pumpkin Pie himself: Jay Cutler. Jay's a solid, impressive passer who bravely plays behind a terrible offensive line for a coach that no longer seems to have any sense of direction or inclination to hire any sort of coaching assistant who could either challenge his authority or his job. Pumpkin Pie will be a tasty quarterbacking treat as long as someone--anyone--can put together a Broncos O-line that can stop a g*ddamn blitz once in a while. Otherwise he'll end up an injured, gun-shy mess...which is only a little worse than being discarded and banished to journeyman status, or being completely hounded out of the city.

2. With that in mind we resolve to continue cheering for the Broncos even as we criticize the hell out of anything we don't like about the team, especially if they are stinking up the joint. You know, like the fans in every other place outside of Fantasyland County, CO.

3. Along those same lines we resolve to give Mike Shanahan one more chance. Actually, we think he should be fired as of several weeks ago, but we know he's going to get another shot because of the now-decade-old glory days. If nothing else, we have a clear goal in 2008: continue to preach the truth about the sorry, sad decline of Denver's beloved "Mastermind."

4. We resolve to neither hate nor fear the New England Patriots. It's just been one of those years. They played in a division full of pansies and only played two teams that turned out to be legitimate contenders. We respect Tom Brady and the Pats for their accomplishments (even if they get bounced in the playoffs) but we also feel that there are several historic teams that could have taken them down...the 1997 Broncos are one of those teams, actually.

5. We resolve to keep an eye on Gary Kubiak. We won't be shifting team loyalties anytime soon, but Gary's doing a promising job down in Houston. Good for him.

6. We resolve to be polite and cordial on Andrew Mason's official Broncos blog. Actually, "LPP" himself abstains from this one. But the rest of us will behave, we swear. Mostly.

7. We resolve to try and be funnier. Some of our jokes and captions have fallen flat. Hey, you try being funny when your favorite team is worse than Helen Keller playing 20 Questions. We don't get paid for this, you know.

8. We resolve to try and find a way to get paid for this. Maybe a new T-Shirt.

9. We resolve to open up our site to other sports items of interest. The Rockies and Nuggets are a start, but to be honest...those aren't unanimous favorites of the entire staff. But we need to kill time between now and training camp with more than Shanahan-bashing and "Where is Jake now?" reports.

10. However, on that note, we resolve--nay, we solemnly declare--that we shall continue to maintain this site in honor of Jake "the Snake" Plummer, our all-time favorite NFL player. Although it is highly improbable, we will continue to cross our fingers that Jake rises again and shows the league what he can do with a real offensive line and more than one target on a team with a defense that shows up for every single game. Sure, Jake's still claiming retirement. Forgive us if we'd like to see, just once more, a team that will pick up a proven vet and...

LET PLUMMER PLAY!!!

Happy New Year to all, and best of luck to the 2008 Broncos. If Shanahan is still in charge, they're gonna need it.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

More disappointing than Godfather 3 and the Matrix sequels. Combined.



That was just horrible. Nice Christmas present, Broncos. That game was mailed in like a sweepstakes entry. That game was slept through like a Latin class.

Not only did Pale Horseman get destroyed in his Fantasy Super Bowl by the San Diego defense's fumble recovery, four sacks, two picks, and general Bambi vs. Godzilla treatment of the Broncos, but he had to watch the Broncos suffer an even more humiliating defeat in real life! At least PH got the second place money for his troubles. All the Broncos got for Christmas was their two front teeth punched down their throats in an even bigger embarrassment than the 41-3 drubbing they took in Mile High. Yes, this loss was much worse than the last one. At least the first loss to the Chargers was a straight-up, mano-a-mano, ass-whupping. They were trying the first time back in October. That day, San Diego just tried a bit harder, ran a flawless game plan (how Norv managed that, we'll never know,) and ran all over the Broncos to a dominant victory.

Tonight, San Diego didn't even seem to be trying all that hard. The Broncos--John Lynch's uncharacteristic but probably very telling outburst aside--simply played like bored Pop Warner scrubs waiting to get their last paychecks and start their vacations. Is this what we agreed to as fans? Tonight the Broncos looked lazier than the New York Knicks after a turkey dinner. That's emergency time. Does anyone realize that if Shawne Merriman was still on his full roid regimen, there's a good chance that Pumpkin Pie would simply be a pile of crumbs right now?

Could the O-line have been any worse? (We shouldn't say that, there's still one game to go.) Poor Jay Cutler was running for his life half the game! We haven't seen desperate running like that since today at Target when the stock boy found an extra Nintendo Wii in the back. Do we have to say it again? That's not how you develop a quarterback--but it's a good way to wreck one.

If we see another performance like this in 2007, we hope that the performance also marks the final game of a certain coach--the man most Denver fans and media seem to consider "he who must not be blamed."

Oh, and Merry Christmas to the Plummer family!

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Please score 50 points.

So, Monday Night is in San Diego. Last time the Broncos faced down the Chargers, they gave up something like 12,000 rushing yards. Hopefully they can catch the Bolts off-guard and get a victory.

They'd better. Pale Horseman's Fantasy Super Bowl opponent has the San Diego defense. CRUSH THEM!!!

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

¡Feliz cumpleaƱos!

On December 19th, 1974, Jason Steven Plummer was unleashed upon the world somewhere in Boise, Idaho. We here at LetPlummerPlay.com would like to wish our favorite QB a happy 33rd birthday. Kind of sucks to have a birthday at this time of year. We get the feeling Jake had to put up with a lot of "combo gifts" growing up. But have a happy birthday regardless, Jake, and continue to enjoy retirement--although if you get bored, there's always a needy team out there who might...

LET PLUMMER PLAY!!!

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

ESPN did our update for us

(From ESPN.com)
"Somewhere, Jake Plummer Is Chortling:
For years, TMQ has complained that the Houston Texans are dull. Thursday night against Denver, they seemed exciting -- it had to be that they were in all red! Or all Battle Red, as the Texans call that color. (Their other colors are officially Steel Blue and Liberty White, though the latter sure seems like Copy Paper White to me.) The red monochrome looked good on the Texans, and seemed to result in an uptick in their performance. Houston, ditch the moo-cow livery and keep the all red!

As for the Broncos, their coach -- whom the Denver team Web site calls "The Ultimate Leader" -- sure looks lost. Last year around Thanksgiving, Denver was 7-4 and held the inside track for a wild-card berth. But fans and football pundits kept complaining about Jake Plummer, and the Broncos had lost two straight, although they were close losses to San Diego and Kansas City, both power teams last season. Mike Shanahan decided to switch to Jay Cutler, and the Broncos are 8-11 since then, eliminated last season and now eliminated this season. Sure, there's more going on with that team beyond the quarterback switch, and sure Cutler has promise. But last year, Denver was a winner under Plummer, and since then, Denver has been a loser under Cutler. One suspects Plummer is off fly-fishing somewhere and having a good laugh about this."


Okay, ha-ha, very funny Mr. ESPN guy. That's totally not true. Jake isn't fly-fishing, he's playing handball. And there's a good chance he's not laughing. Everything else is true, though. Poor Pumpkin Pie. Is he going to be stuck under coach Norman Bates forever?

Well, no playoffs this year. That makes two years in a row for the first time in what seems like forever.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Run, Pumpkins, Run!!!

The game's not over yet, but we might as well start the rant...Gary Kubiak, Buckshot Rosenfels, and the Houston Texans are simply out-doing the Broncos on both sides of the ball. Despite some nice (but painfully one-dimensional) rapport between Pumpkin Pie and Brandon Marshall, the Horsies showed up looking nothing like the team that stomped all over KC last week. This is probably because Houston, unlike KC, isn't an injury-riddled stink-bomb of a team.

The O-line can't stop anyone, the D-line can't stop anyone, and so therefore, the Broncos can't stop anyone. Anyone ready to point fingers at the man who made this all possible yet? Anyone? We've officially gone backwards from last year, and that season was considered a bust.

Cutler looks good, but if you can't consistently block for him or stop the other team from putting up 20-30 points a game, then his development is rendered useless. Meanwhile all Larry Coyer (our former defensive coordinator) is doing over in Tampa Bay is helping them to be a top-3 defense. A lot of people want to blame Jim Bates for how bad the defense is doing. That's fair. But Shanahan did the firing and hiring that led to all of this, and makes decisions like "let's play conservative all year then suddenly try to go for 4th downs in week 15" or "let's punt to Devin Hester again, that last TD was a fluke."

Well, screw Shanahan, he's blown his second year in a row. By the way, somewhere around the 2nd quarter, Mr. Pumpkins caught a glimpse of how the Broncos were doing, weighed his options, and well...

Godspeed, Mr. Pumpkins. Don't look back...don't look back...remember us here at...

LET PLUMMER PLAY!!!

Jason Elam and the Great American Novel

So Jason Elam wrote a book. The above title is not a joke. It is called "Monday Night Jihad," and it's about a special-ops commando/pro football linebacker (not a kicker, sadly enough) who fights terrorism in the USA and overseas. Sound like anyone familiar? Since we personally have never written novels here, we won't really make fun of it--for most of us, writing anything more than 3-4 pages of cohesive story is a hell of a process (but then, "and Steve Yohn" might mean Jason simply contributed to a ghostwritten book.)

Although we won't make fun of the overall effort, let's face it. It's a stupid title. It sounds like a "Family Guy" joke (Peter Griffin: "Boy, this is worse than the time our cable went out and we had to watch Hamas TV." Hank Williams Jr: "Are you ready for some jihad?") and Elam sure as heck didn't write a comedic novel here. If you'd like to read the first part of the book, click here to go to Amazon.

So if you have any family members who like Tom Clancy books, or the Bourne Identity, or just want to read something written by a football player that isn't a biography, pick up "Monday Night Jihad" by Jason Elam and Steve Yohn. It's the perfect holiday gift, Broncos fans!**

AMERICA!!! F*** YEAH!!!


**disclaimer: may not actually be a good holiday gift.

Monday, December 10, 2007

"Sorry, I thought you were Devin Hester."

Okay, so Todd Sauerbrun got drunk and smacked a cab driver around. I think it's safe to say he'll be looking for a new employer fairly soon--unless Shanahan wants to look like "anything goes" in Denver. Maybe Todd wants to be a male model or something and doesn't care. He certainly looks like he wants to be the Tom Brady of punters in the above Star Shot. Hey, chicks dig the long ball and they love a guy with hang time.

In addition Brandon Marshall is going to court because of a DUI. Brandon, you're a dummy. Yeah, we said it. Look, we here at LPP have driven a tad tipsy before--but we NEED to drink to keep the mind-numbing crush of reality from destroying our weak spirits. We'll be wage slaves for the next 30 years. B-Marsh simply has to keep his nose clean for 7-8 years and he'll be set for LIFE. Didn't he learn anything from Big Baby Daddy? Fool! If you make NFL money, you can afford a cab! You cannot, however, afford to beat up the driver of the cab.

Hey, great judgment, fellas! Way to think about the team first!

Sunday, December 9, 2007

We strangled the kitten anyway.

No, of course we didn't kill Mr. Pumpkins. The Broncos won as predicted (and by God, expected) over the utterly pathetic Chiefs. A win is a win, and we give a hearty Mile High salute to the Broncos and to the man himself...Pumpkin Pie definitely had his way with the hapless Chief defenders and we rate his performance a solid 4:

That's right, FOUR PIES. Jay, keep slinging up these multi-Pie performances and who knows? Maybe you can get the Broncos going in spite of Shanahan. We'd hate to see Mike get saved like Doc Rivers is getting bailed out by Kevin Garnett over in Boston, but hey, whatever keeps Denver from sucking, right?

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Checking in with Jake



Thanks to, um "Anonymous" on the message boards for pointing us in the direction of this sweet little article about Jake's ongoing retirement. Live it, Snake! We still obviously follow the Broncos but we haven't forgotten our favorite QB!



Thursday, December 6, 2007

If they lose this game, we'll strangle a baby kitten.




Jay's actual happy place will likely be Invesco Field this weekend.
Not to be overly optimistic, but given their current problems, the Chiefs are definitely in the running for the worst team in the NFL. Yes, their record says otherwise (sort of) but we'd take any team over KC right now, especially on the road and even more especially in a game-changing venue like Mile High. Yes, even Miami.

So the Broncos get a breather against a bad team. Granted, Chicago and Oakland were pretty bad too, and those games didn't turn out so well...but the week 14 edition of KC is in a different class of bad. Hopefully this will not only be a victory but a confidence builder.

They'll need every edge possible to survive the upcoming road games in Houston and San Diego.

One thing is certain: they can't finish any better than last year's 9-7 record, and in 2006, 9-7 wasn't good enough to make the playoffs. Jacksonville looks to have Wild Card #1 wrapped up. That means it's mostly down to Cleveland, Tennessee, and Buffalo for the last spot, with Houston and yes, Denver still possibilities sitting in serious holes.

Playoffs? Playoffs??? With this schedule, Denver was supposed to challenge for the AFC West this year. Now we're just trying to finish .500!

Right now, we're about as good as Oakland. Take a long look at both rosters and tell us what's really so different about them. Is that where we want to be?


Wow. Did we really just say that?

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Travis Henry 1, NFL 0



Travis Henry actually won his suspension appeal. Good for him and his nine child support payments. Good for the Broncos, too. They have enough problems with injuries without having to lose a guy to something else entirely.

Of course, he's still going to get scapegoated as a distraction by the Shanahan apologists. While it's a fair accusation, we get the feeling Big Baby Daddy and Jim Bates are going to be this year's Jake Plummer and Larry Coyer--meaning they'll be the ones getting all the blame while no one blames Shanahan for enabling the whole mess to begin with.

Congratulations to Big Baby Daddy! Unfortunately, he probably won't be celebrating this personal victory in the manner he loves best...too bad. A bit of the hydroponic bionic would certainly help to dull the pain of losing to the freakin' Raiders. Ugh...the RAIDERS?!?!?!

Sunday, December 2, 2007

RAIDERS DEVOUR PUMPKIN PIE
















Unbelievable. The Raiders. THE RAIDERS. Who can doubt us now? Who can call us WRONG???

Oh, did someone mumble something about Jake Plummer? We love the Snake, but before you brave anonymous posters start calling us out again as simple-minded Jake boosters, let's remember: we've been pointing fingers at Shanahan since BEFORE he benched Jake. This isn't about the second-greatest QB in Broncos history, this is about THE BRONCOS. They STINK.

This team, from rosters to coaches was hand-picked by MIKE SHANAHAN. Don't whip out the "young team" excuse. This is essentially the same team from last year that went 9-7 and missed the playoffs on the last day of the season...oh, wait, we added guys like Bly and Big Baby Daddy who were supposed to IMPROVE us behind a "maturing" Jay Cutler. Well, poor Pumpkin Pie is not going to learn anything from Mike Shanahan except how to blame other people for mistakes. Shanahan has officially entered the downturn of his career and unfortunately, people are still too blinded by his "legendary" reputation to notice that the last nine years of Denver football haven't been "legendary," they've been ADEQUATE...and now it's gone from "adequate" to "pathetic."

We like Pumpkin Pie, but we fear for his development in the chaotic atmosphere Shanahan has created. Before he ruins yet ANOTHER young QB, it's time to put the old horse out to pasture. Mike Shanahan lost his edge a LONG time before refusing to...

LET PLUMMER PLAY!!!

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Monday, November 26, 2007

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE DENVER BRITNEYS.

You hear that quiet sucking sound; that almost inaudible whisper? That’s the sound of another season slipping down the drain in Denver. Usually the sound is more pronounced and violent, but this is Denver. The altitude and thin air means certain things act differently. We certainly can’t act like the Falcons. No, their season didn’t slip down the drain recently, the entire Atlanta bathtub crashed through the ceiling, “Money Pit” style, before the season even started. But enough talk of tubs and drains; let’s just take that sucking sound literally. The Broncos suck, friends. They suck like Britney in Vegas on New Year’s Eve. Like Britney, they will tease you with promises of comebacks and a return to former glory. Then you get a long hard look at the performance up close.

The Broncos aren’t just “like” Britney Spears. They are the Denver Britneys; a disheveled, dingy, bloated, overrated mess of has-been that only seems relevant because many of their peers suck even worse, and it’s mainly Shanahan’s fault. It didn’t hit us until we noticed that the terrible Raiders took out the Chiefs in Arrowhead; an accomplishment that Denver fans had crowed long and hard about just two weeks ago since we hadn’t done it since the Brian Griese era. Well, turns out the Chiefs may now be the worst team West of Miami...and if those two teams played tomorrow, we might take Miami. Okay, well, there’s a little shine off of one win. Immediately after the Raiders score rolled by, we noticed that the Titans--a supposedly good team that battled the Broncos hard for 3 quarters before finally succumbing at Mile High last week--had been absolutely pasted by the (at the time) 3-7 Bengals. So apparently, the Titans actually are in a rapid decline (starting the week before the Denver game with a loss to the Jags) and again, another victory tarnished (as if playing at Mile High isn’t supposed to be like spotting the Broncos 10 points to begin with.)

We saw a lot to like about Jay Cutler yesterday. Pumpkin Pie (man, we love that name) finally has two impressive games in a row in 2007 but unfortunately, as we predicted, he only has one victory in those two games, a subtle but definite jab to any QB’s confidence (“What else do I have to do to get a win with this team???”) of the kind we’ve been predicting for nearly two years now thanks to “the Mastermind.” Shanahan made several strategic mistakes, even setting aside the fact that if it’s obvious Devin Hester is having one of “those” days, then stop giving him the freakin’ rope to choke you with and start kicking line drives and squibs. Shanahan shows no initiative when an opponent meekly shows him its throat, instead choosing to stick with “quick out-run-run-punt/run-quick out-run-punt” sequences when it was obvious that Cutler, Marshall, Scheffler and Stokley were practically going into convulsions waiting for the signal to open up the throttle on the subpar Bears secondary. Shanahan only called deep outs when his stuffy math-major’s brain told him it was proper; the players had to save a couple of busted plays on their own and made the most of them. Wasn’t this supposed to be the guy that truly opened up John Elway and Steve Young as deep threats? (Short answer: No--those two were already damn good, had All-Pro wideouts, and regularly called their own plays.)

The defense is breaking down again. The special teams were laughable. With the Bears defense deteriorated into a shadow, even the running game was just average and the only bright points came with the passing game...and even Pumpkin Pie’s passing percentage was down a hair; the secondary was just easy to beat once the receivers got space. And yet the Britneys came away with a loss in a game that they should have won handily. This is a weird year for the NFL. There are a ton of mediocre-to-bad teams (like every West team in both conferences.) The Britneys unfortunately seem to be more lucky than good when it comes to their record. They could easily be running with the Raiders at 3-8 or worse.

So we stand by our criticisms of Shanahan. Like Britney, the game has passed Shanahan by...and in both cases, anyone who’s paying attention will realize that the kids are the ones who will truly suffer for it. Save Pumpkin Pie! Save the Broncos from being the Denver Britneys! WE WANT OUR BRONCOS BACK!!! Mr. Shanahan, please retire before you’re left standing humiliated in a bra and panties with a mommy paunch on national TV, your voice shot and your former glory nothing but a hazily-remembered footnote! And we aren’t just saying this because you didn’t...

LET PLUMMER PLAY!!!

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Victory

Well now Denver fans. That was a pretty good game wasn’t it? Even we here at LPP only have so much to say regarding the Monday Night victory in Denver. Jay Cutler did well, the special teams did well, and the defense actually held up. If they could do this every week, maybe we could get somewhere, though we still saw Jay running for his life on a few plays when the O-Line crumbled. What are we going to criticize this week? Not much. Thanksgiving is here, and why do you think Cutler’s doing so well all of a sudden? It’s that time of the year when Pumpkin Pie is a primary menu item around the USA!

The Broncos can take control of their destiny. The Bears are falling apart, the Raiders are about as bad as a year ago, Kansas City is playing with 1/3 of an offense, Houston isn’t ready to step up this year, and Minnesota revolves around one injured rookie. That’s right, the rest of the schedule is CREAM PUFF TEAMS except for one game; unfortunately it’s in San Diego. If the Broncos can figure out the Chargers before Christmas Eve, they’re golden. If not, no playoffs and mediocre draft positioning.

Thanks to the morons running the Chargers, the Broncos are getting the one-or-two-years-early gift of AFC West contention because of a simple fact: the winner of the terrible AFC West will be the worst team in the playoffs. Now, while that’s not much to brag about, it does at least mean an extra paycheck for the roster should they make it to the first round. Granted, a lot of fans last year were saying they’d “rather miss the playoffs and have Cutler in there learning, because with Plummer they’d just get embarrassed in the first round.”

That’s not an exaggeration. A lot of people actually said that.

Now, despite the fact that this current team stands about as much chance to beat New England as LetPlummerPlay.com stands to beat Google in unique views, people are getting psyched about the playoffs again. Well, if you threw in the towel last year out of “pre-embarrassment,” and are now rooting for the Broncos based on their 5% chance of a miracle, SUCK OUR FAT ONES. Don’t call US phony fans (happens a lot) if you were “glad” the Broncos missed the postseason in 2006 but are hyping 2007. Do we hope they make the playoffs? Yes. Hell yes. Say anything you want about our criticisms of people, decisions, and plays, we bleed orange and blue around here. A week of NFL football without a Broncos game is like an empty Pumpkin Pie tin on Thanksgiving—it just ain’t right!

But now is not the time to attack our allies, even the ones we disagree with. Happy Thanksgiving to all Denver fans--even the ones who hate our guts for speaking the truth when nobody wants to listen.

We give thanks for steady paychecks, a full belly, the NFL, for Pumpkin Pie managing to not get killed despite Shanahan’s crappy O-Line schemes, and for 10 years of getting to watch two NFL teams...

LET PLUMMER PLAY!!!

Monday, November 19, 2007

Friday, November 16, 2007

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

#7



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Tuesday, November 13, 2007

#6


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Friday, November 9, 2007

WAWAWEEWA!


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Wednesday, November 7, 2007

LPP Website....GENIUS!


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Thursday, November 1, 2007

Communication Breakdown


It looks like Jake was having a problem at the end of the season last year, but didn't we already know that?
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Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Cutler...Great?

THE NEXT BRETT FAVRE IS NO BRETT FAVRE

The Broncos finally painted themselves into a corner that Jason Elam’s foot couldn’t get them out of. A team with a running game that moves like old men and features an actual old man at quarterback just waltzed into Mile High and took another year off of Mike Shanahan’s life. Favre was having an average game up until overtime when he had a sudden moment of clarity and thought “Hey, wait a minute, I’m Brett Favre!” and promptly reminded Mile High of that fact by nailing the Bly-burning Greg Jennings for eighty-two freakin’ yards.

Horrible.

But not surprising. This wasn’t like the Pittsburgh game. Last week the team hit the field pissed-off, well rested and had a chip on their shoulders bigger than Travis Henry’s diaper bill. This week, the team was complacent after victory, the aforementioned Big Baby Daddy was out, and it seems that the “weaker” NFC was underestimated. The thing we here hate hearing the most is now that they’ve gotten over the “next Elway” bit, the media has moved on to comparisons between Pumpkin Pie and Brett Favre. Folks, can we stop? Jay Cutler has tools, but can we give the kid a break? Pumpkin is compared more to older quarterbacks than any young quarterback in quite some time. Can we let him develop his own identity, please? And another thing, no, he’s not Brett Favre. Brett Favre came over from the Falcons into a low-pressure situation with a team that had been an afterthought for 20 years and started turning heads. Then, Favre’s coach assembled a vicious defense led by racist homophobe (but otherwise generally nice guy and great player) Reggie White and suddenly the Packers were winning new fans and Super Bowls.

Pumpkin Pie, our favorite NFL pastry, is coming into a definite high-pressure situation, and for Denver fans, their two Super Bowls may as well have happened last week. He was drafted as a savior and dumped into the middle of a playoff run. Both Fav-ruh and Pump-kin possess strong arms and brains, and both throw about as many INT’s as TD’s (although incredibly, Favre’s ratio has actually improved in his 17th year in football.) But Brett Favre has the biggest pair of Q-Balls in the NFC, and therein lays the difference.

“The Mastermind” Mike Shanahan came to the party unprepared yet again. Sure, BBD was a late scratch, but remember, Shanahan’s arrogant pride in the notion that his RB’s are interchangeable is supposed to make that irrelevant. Cutler started out fine, hitting bam-bam-bam passes to put the Broncos on the board, but then a costly fumble by the Pie blew a sure score and probably kicked Cutler “squah” in whatever Q-Balls he’d been developing over the past two weeks. Pumpkin Pie was not the same for the next two possessions; Selvin Young didn’t hit his holes and Shanahan twiddled his thumbs as Green Bay padded their score with field goals. But then, as all great coaches do, Shanahan decided to trust in his best player to win an ugly game. Unfortunately, Shanahan has mismanaged this team so badly that his best player is the kicker. Jason Elam did what he was asked to do, but even Adam Vinateri can’t make a field goal equal four points instead of three, and the game went to overtime where it usually comes down to two things...coin tosses and Q-Balls. Green Bay had the double-whammy advantage and fifteen seconds later: Game over, thanks for visiting Invesco Field at Mile High, drive home safe; pick up some discounted Rockies World Series merchandise on your way out; go Nuggets.

Well, shit. Here we go again, back to square one. Now Shanahan leads his Horses into the Lions’ den in Detroit, where Jon “Jesus is my neurologist” Kitna’s promise of ten wins isn’t looking so ridiculous anymore. The Lions are coming off two strong wins against Tampa Bay and Chicago, the latter at Soldier Field. The Lions can be beaten if the Broncos get to Kitna early but they’re in a bind. The Lions just saw a Coyer defense and blew by it against Tampa. Jim Bates hasn’t been able to implement anything innovative that actually works...so Shanahan will probably go with the “Simple Simon” defense that caught Pittsburgh off guard but probably won’t be able to surprise the high-powered Detroit attack. The Lions have more good receivers than Champ Bailey can cover...whether it’s Shaun McDonald or Calvin Johnson, someone’s going to burn Bly or end up uncovered. Worst of all for Pumpkin Pie, even though the Lions give up points, they lead the league in picks. The Broncos can win simply because...screw it; we’re not trusting the Lions as contenders until after week 12, after they’ve played the Giants and Packers. They win those games? They can win the NFC. But then, anyone can win the NFC at this point (except St. Louis.)

Will they win?
If they play like they did Monday night, the answer is no, no, no. So whip out the microscopes, Denver. We let the guy off the hook for one week and look what happens: A complete breakdown against a heavily flawed NFC team that went from having no running game to having some schmoe named Ryan Grant (Ryan Grant? RYAN GRANT?) kick up 100 yards of Mile High turf in Denver’s face! Can we get some accountability, Mikey? Well, don’t worry, LPP fans, we won’t be letting Shanahan relax anymore and neither should you, whether or not you supported our position that he should have...

LET PLUMMER PLAY!!!

Monday, October 22, 2007

Live To Fight Another Day

WE LIVE TO WRITE ANOTHER DAY!!!

Lo and behold, our prediction of victory rang true! The Steelers had early jitters and ended up having to play behind for most of the game...the Mile High advantage actually worked for once! The Denver Broncos won again on the foot of Jason Elam, keeping LetPlummerPlay.com alive and reinforcing the legendary phrase “…On Any Given Sunday.” Pumpkin Pie had an above average game despite a couple of ugly picks that nearly ruined everything, even leading a drive halfway up the field (aided by a Steelers penalty) to get Elam in position to be the hero yet again.

We have to admit there’s not much to complain about this week outside of inflated expectations. Hopefully, all the fans screaming “playoffs” will come to their senses. Pittsburgh is pretty good, but they’re not Indianapolis or New England, and the NFL gave the Broncos a gift by scheduling most of their toughest games at Mile High. Amazingly enough there’s still a chance to make the playoffs, simply because San Diego hasn’t hit the hard part of their schedule yet. It doesn’t look like anyone in this division is going to win more than 10 games. For the love of Christmas, Kansas City is in first place, and that team was technically worse than the Broncos before the injuries hit! The Raiders are finding out that Miami game aside, Daunte Culpepper really IS washed up, and we’re about to find out if adding Chris Chambers will be a difference maker for San Diego. The Broncos, inconsistent as they are, have as much a chance of making the playoffs as they do of dropping their next 8 games in a row. That’s nice if you like surprises, we guess.

We won’t rub salt into old wounds this week just because this is a victory and we’re still Broncos fans...duh. However, this hasn’t changed our outlook on the season or the coach one bit. Last night was a young team with low expectations playing over their heads and getting out to a fast start, and the medium-powered Steelers offense isn’t geared to play from behind; they need to grind out early leads or keep games close for 60 minutes. They aren’t going to surprise teams every week. We do think next week is winnable because media is over-hyping a Brett Favre team as usual, and the Packers are coming to Mile High with no running game.

Quite simply, it’s one of those “everyone else” years in the NFL. Parity has made the league so diluted and weak that it comes down to Patriots, Colts...and then everyone else, with only a few lucky games and bad decisions separating the 2-4 teams from the 4-2 teams, and so on. No matter what kind of record the Jags, Giants, Bucs, Chargers, Steelers, Cowboys, or yes, the Broncos put together, they aren’t going to knock off one of the big boys when it matters unless the stars align, or Brady and Manning fall off a cliff in each other’s warm embrace to spite a world that cannot accept their cannon arms and massive charisma. The problem with the Broncos is that if you know you aren’t going to win the Super Bowl, you have to at least look a team that can fool a city. It’s been easy for Shanahan to fool Denver...he’s been doing it for 8 years and running. But there’s less to work with here than usual and the base for the future is iffy. Maybe he’s got the next Joe Montana/Jerry Rice in Jay Cutler/Brandon Marshall. But even if those two develop into very good players, there’s the chance that they end up as Jim Everett/Henry Ellard, which makes for very pretty statistics...and nothing higher than Conference Title losses, which this city has deemed absolutely UNACCEPTABLE to the point of turning on certain otherwise successful parties. Shanahan is not putting a good and consistent team together and he hasn’t done it all decade. They won yesterday as we predicted and his job is safe yet again...but we’ve made other predictions too, and we haven’t been wrong a whole hell of a lot lately. To paraphrase the immortal words of The Wolf: Let’s not start sucking each other’s dicks just yet...even Buffalo won a game yesterday. One win doesn’t fix everything, it just makes Monday morning a little easier to deal with when you’re at the office ragging on a bunch of Raiders and Chargers fans (we run into this quite a bit, and frankly this is one reason we’re sick of Shanahan falling short of the Super Bowl...we want to shut up the prick in the mail room who keeps reminding us--correctly--that the Raiders have more AFC titles in the 21st century than the Broncos.)

Enjoy the small victories, Denver, but the big picture is much bleaker. When the season ends with a fizzle, just make sure you blame the right guy. The TOP guy. And why not puff up your Favorites list by adding:

LET PLUMMER PLAY!!!

Friday, October 19, 2007

End Of Let Plummer Play?

THE SURVIVAL OF LET PLUMMER PLAY HINGES ON SUNDAY!!!

The bye week is over, the Broncos are home, and it’s time to face Pittsburgh. We here at Let Plummer Play are going to go out on a limb and predict a stellar victory for the Broncos, which will save Shanahan’s job and prove for one more week that he is a genius. If the Broncos lose, we may no longer have a reason to live...virtually speaking.

Why would we say this? Well, aside from the fact that we’re still Broncos fans, this season hangs by a thread. Pumpkin Pie is stuck with a thuggish-ruggish (and sluggish) offense both on the field and on the sidelines, injuries are popping up left and right, and the defensive line is playing like pre-schoolers (Red Rover, Red Rover, send the Chargers on over!) If the Broncos lose this game, they are 2-4, a barrel bottom they haven’t scraped since the first post-Elway season of ’99 (to be fair, that team started 0-4.) That means we here at LPP are closer to being proven right than ever!

That can’t happen! If we’re proven right, by the Broncos tanking the season, and they replace Shanahan, and they let Cutler slide to another team to become a Pro Bowler, and they become a respectable threat again...what will we have to complain about!?!?! The Broncos have to hang on to at least the edge of mediocre if not improve to outright average! If they stay mediocre, Shanahan’s job is safe week to week and we get to rip on him until the playoffs start! If they actually become decent, they’ll come within a hair of the playoffs or even make it and we get another year to gloriously bash Shanahan for keeping the horses on a treadmill for the entire 21st century!

You’d think we hope they don’t win a Super Bowl with Shanahan, but that’s not true! We’d love for the Shanahan-led Broncos to rise again and smite their enemies, including the hated Colts, Chargers, Patriots, and Raiders (well, they usually smite the Raiders anyway) but here’s the problem: as long as Shanahan’s running his tired dog-and-pony show, the only bowl the Broncos will be seeing is the one planted on Pumpkin Pie’s head the next time he cuts his own hair! Jay, seriously, if you don’t want to spend the money, we’ll gladly spot you $10.00 plus tip. Put down the safety scissors and bum a ride to Supercuts. There’s like three of them in downtown Denver alone.

So go, Broncos, go! Give the unrealistic Shanahan Brigade false hope so LPP can go argue his little heart out at Andrew Mason’s blog! Give the people who see the truth more reason to roll their eyes when the Steelers beat themselves and we have to put up with another week of the Shanahan Brigade fooling themselves into thinking the team is fixed while insulting us for pimping Jake Plummer every week and ignoring the dozens of logical and factual NON-Plummer points we make because they hit too close to home! Give us the pain of mediocrity that we must feed on to live as smart-assed web bloggers who like to waste their time! If the Broncos go say, 5-11, what good is complaining about change going to do us? There’s no fun in arguing with people when we’ve been proven 100% right! But if we’re only 80-90% right about a 7-9 or 8-8 team, we can still muster up the motivation to go toe-to-toe with the residents of Fantasyland, where Mike Shanahan’s fists are full of hard-earned championship rings, the urinals at Invesco Field flush Cabernet Sauvignon, and John Elway’s Toyota dealership actually benefits America and not the Japanese economy! Could such a wondrous place exist???

Now, if they fire Shanahan, we won’t have much to complain about either, and we may have to close the site down. We can console ourselves by eating the sweet manna of intellectual victory and watching the Broncos rebuild properly without having built-in overblown expectations brought on by an overrated, played-out coach who can’t develop new talent because he needs to come into a situation with built-in superstars to succeed...if they fail WITHOUT Shanahan, at least we can say they tried new things. It’s like taking a European vacation and not enjoying yourself...at least you can say you went!

Don’t fucking die on me, Pyle! That would break my fucking heart! Go Broncos!!! Because even if he is the greatest handball player to ever play football, this site really is more than just an attempt to convince people to...

LET PLUMMER PLAY!!!

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

With the BYE week, you have time to read this...

Q-BALLS

Jay Cutler, aka Pumpkin Pie, aka our favorite NFL Pastry, is a smart dude. He’s got a cannon arm and a tough physical frame; but let’s not beat around the bush...Vanderbilt is not some shady, cushy, “Rocks for Jocks 101” football machine that gives athletes a free ride just for showing up. Pumpkin Pie actually had to go to real classes and maintain a GPA to stay eligible. To the point: Vanderbilt is a great university. It is not a great football school.

Cutler lost a lot in college. Vanderbilt is to 1-A college football as the Atlanta Hawks are to basketball. Despite Cutler’s record-setting numbers at QB and some close, thrilling games for Vandy, the school was an abysmal 11-35 during his stay. In high school, Cutler’s team romped most of the time, going 26-1 in his last two years and outscoring their opponents by a ratio greater than 8-1, including one game that went 90-0. The guy even played Iron-man football at times, snagging several INTERCEPTIONS on the other side of scrimmage.

What we’re getting at: Pumpkin Pie is strong, he’s smart, and he’s certainly no sissy. However, he’s rarely been in the kind of situations where he can develop a sort of arrogant confidence in himself and in his ability to win no matter the odds. Pumpkin’s alma mater, Heritage High, is the football powerhouse of its region, beating up southwest Indiana’s PAC conference for ten years running. He didn’t have to face much adversity in high school as an efficient star component of an already-loaded team. At Vanderbilt, his team consisted of few stars and many true student-athletes. While Cutler kept them in many games, the Vanderbilt Commodores knew (especially in Cutler’s first 3 years) that losing was the most likely outcome; maybe anything could happen if they put up a fight and tried to keep it close but more likely not. That’s not how championship players are forged, no matter how you slice it.

We’ve obviously never played pro ball, but we’ve been on amateur teams in several sports and we can tell you what you may already know: if your team is bad, you FEEL it. Even if you’re the best QB, pitcher, or point guard in the city, if your team isn’t good enough to beat a better team you’re going to feel it like a flu coming on. It gets into your head no matter who you are, whether you’re Jay Cutler or Jay Nobody. In the movie “The Natural,” Roy Hobbs’ team hires a quack hypnotist to help get a team out of its losing streak. Although the approach is asinine and rejected by the players, the quack makes a point: “Losing is a disease.” That one part was absolutely true. Just because some players are stronger than others doesn’t mean they can’t be affected by losing attitudes.

Mike Shanahan’s nickname is “The Mastermind.” He’s quiet, analytical, and meticulous. While he is passionate in his way, he’s not going to be the type of coach to lose his cool to a referee or at a press conference; a rah-rah, give-me-everything-or-get-out motivational coach in the vein of a young Mike Ditka or Bill Parcells. Shanahan is in the Phil Jackson/Joe Torre mold; sure he’ll lose his temper occasionally, but he’ll try and squash it as quickly as possible if he feels it’s a distraction. This can be a good thing. But sometimes you need a coach who will properly complement his quarterback. You think Shanahan ever had to motivate Elway?

Case in point: Pumpkin Pie finds himself in a situation he’s never been in before. The Broncos are a team with almost all of the tools. What they’re missing is a fire, the kind of fire that the Elways and McNabbs of this world light under their teams as if to say “Let’s cut the bullshit--we’re going win this goddamn game no matter what.” Sometimes you can get away with a quarterback who can’t really do that as long as you have coaches who can...John Gruden with Tampa Bay; Brian Billick with the Ravens; Lovie Smith with the Bears; Bill Cowher in Pittsburgh. Here’s the problem: Cutler came from a high school where winning was almost an afterthought, and a college where any competitive game was an event. He was rarely in heated competition with titles and trophies on the line...his high school team blew by 95% of his opponents and his college teams never played for anything more than pride and bragging rights. Mike Shanahan is a strategist but rarely a motivator. Jay Cutler is a captain but not yet a leader. All the Champ Baileys and John Lynches and Rod Smiths in the world aren’t going to light a fire the way a coach or QB can, and this disjointed, disheartened Broncos team needs one or the other. Shanahan is set in his ways; he’ll never change. But Pumpkin Pie is expected to become the leader, a guy who will strap the team to his back, smack asses and shout encouragement from the sidelines, and basically act like the “general” any great quarterback from Otto Graham to Tom Brady is supposed to be.

Jay Cutler can be that guy, but he’s in the unenviable position of having gotten this far in a football career without yet being that guy and he’s playing for an extremely passive coach who is not going to prod him in that direction. But if you’re going to invest the kind of time and money the Broncos have in Cutler, that’s what he needs! He needs that hand-holding, that nurturing...in the art of coldly murdering his enemies with a satisfied smirk on his face. Cutler doesn’t need Mr. Miyagi, Cutler needs John Kreese. Jay doesn’t need to hear “Wax on, wax off,” he needs to hear “Sweep the leg!” For all of his arm strength and brains what Cutler needs more than anything else is a lesson in balls (figuratively speaking.) Are we saying Pumpkin Pie has no balls? Of course not, that’s stupid and insulting. But what Jay Cutler needs to have are the absolute biggest balls on the field, the “Quarterback’s Balls” or “Q-Balls,” for short. Pumpkin Pie’s Q-Balls should be so big that the refs have to make sure Denver doesn’t have too many men on the field. Peyton Manning’s got ‘em. Brett Favre’s got ‘em. Vince Young’s got ‘em. Hell, even old beat-up Daunte Culpepper swung a big pair of Q-Balls against Miami. Right now Pumpkin Pie has the relative Q-Balls of an Eli Manning or a Matt Hasselbeck. Some days they’ll get the job done; some days they won’t and it’s up to the rest of the team to work it out. For guys like say, Brett Favre, if they don’t have their Q-Balls in full swell (this is getting gross) their teams usually don’t have enough to pick up the slack and carry the win. That’s Pumpkin Pie’s situation in a nutshell, but he’s not showing the Q-Balls necessary to carry them when they need it.

What it comes down to is: Pumpkin Pie needs a true, effective mentor. The Broncos, knowing this, actually tried to keep Jake Plummer onboard to back Cutler, and one wonders if it wasn’t purely to develop Cutler’s Q-Balls (because it certainly wasn’t to play the guy.) Jake Plummer, whatever you thought of his talent or numbers, had Q-Balls that could choke Godzilla. Like it or not, sometimes the only person on the field who thought certain plays could be completed or certain games could be won was Jake Plummer. Even when the Snake failed, he went down swinging. With Jake’s departure, Cutler doesn’t have a cagey veteran on the sidelines and Shanahan isn’t going to step in and teach Cutler how to eat lightning and crap thunder. The Broncos have staked their future on a kid who’s heart, body, and mind aren’t the problems; it’s his lack of arrogance (who knew such players still existed?) and hesitance to stab the other team right through the chest. With all they’ve staked on Cutler’s future, Bowlen and Sundquist need to make a decision: keep the coach who’s been running in place for 10 years or back the kid? Cutler and Shanahan have no bad feelings, no bad blood...they’re just bad for each other because one needs to be what the other one needs to have. Either Cutler needs to fire it up for Shanahan, or Shanahan has to fire it up for Cutler.

Again, we’re not saying Cutler is gutless or “ball-less.” But what he is lacking above all else is the killer instinct of a guy with enormous “Q-Balls.” That’s something Shanahan doesn’t know how to teach. Shanahan’s had ten years to try it his way. It’s time to explore other options. Save Pumpkin Pie and Save the Broncos.

Oh, and buy a T-shirt from...


LET PLUMMER PLAY!!!

Monday, October 8, 2007

Not since 1966...

WE KNEW IT WAS BAD, BUT...

Though we here at LPP often break out with a case of the Toldyaso’s when the very ineptitude we’ve been monitoring and flagging for years rears its ugly head and shreds the Broncos on a particular Sunday, we have to say in the aftermath of week 5: It’s even worse than we thought. How can we say it better than the combination of the Rocky Mountain News (Bernie Lincicome, writer) and the Mastermind himself:

Bernie Lincicome: "If Shanahan took the blame for this, it is the least he could do. His handling of Cutler so far has progressed to Cutler getting no touchdowns at all instead of his usual one or two. The crowd, had it bothered to stick around, couldn't even yell for a new quarterback. If it did, the chant would be something like, "Send in what's-his-name." Cutler is the course Shanahan has chosen, and if he never imagined it could be this bad, this bad it is. And not getting any better."

Said Shanahan: “I did a very poor job getting this football team ready. I don't know if I've ever been more embarrassed. It starts with me and I did a poor job getting them ready.”

We noticed, coach. We’ve been noticing. Now the writers who get paid to do this are saying what we’ve been handing out for free: Shanahan has championships, respect and a ton of money. Walking away would not taint his legacy. Watching him decline into a predictable, shakable, beatable coach definitely will, and the decline didn’t just start yesterday. If something drastic doesn’t occur starting at the top of the organization the season, the quarterback, the coach, and indeed the franchise’s next three to five years will be torpedoed completely.

It took Norv “Stomach” Turner of all people to cut the head off of this horse and leave it in Shanahan’s bed as bloody, gruesome proof that the game is starting to pass him by. When the list of similar coaches is reviewed, Shanahan is not in embarrassing company by any means: Chuck Noll; Tom Landry; Don Shula; Mike Ditka…all respected, all successful. All of them hit a wall at some point and had to pack it in, whether gracefully or abruptly. We’ve never said that Shanahan wasn’t a good coach in his prime. He was a perfect fit to regulate and manage a team full of All-Pro talent, which can be just as difficult as managing a team in the Belichek “minimal superstars” vein. But he is not a developmental coach. He’s not going to build a team into a real contender anymore, at least not in the head coach position. Denver came close a couple of years ago, but they’ve simply been outgunned talent-wise (particularly by flat-out loaded Colts squads) and it takes a different kind of coach than “Steady as She Goes” Shanahan to pull a lesser-talented team past a powerhouse. Also of importance is his ability to groom young players. He rarely does more than let them work out their own kinks. Jay Cutler has franchise-carrying tools, but he doesn’t know how to use them yet. He’s a project, and Mike Shanahan has never developed a young quarterback into a star; he’s only really groomed the Grieses and Grbacs of the world. That’s not something you leave on your resume.

The locker room is starting to crack (see Marshall, Brandon. Also the fondly remembered Darrent Williams spoke out last year about “quitsies,” and if anything, the guy’s many friends on the roster would have more reason to think “You know what, man? Darrent was on to something.”) The “fans” are getting the “Elway Clenches” in their sphincters and are only waiting for their condition to evolve into the stage where they start making up stupid derogatory nicknames for Jay Cutler (and don’t you dare point out “Pumpkin Pie,” that one’s done out of love.) The current roster was never going to roll to the Super Bowl, but they should be better than a team that’s two kicks away from 0-5. I mean, Holy Reversals Batman, the Raiders sat at home for their bye week and somehow ended up in first place! For once this season, Shanahan nailed it: It starts with him. It’s time for a different approach. And maybe he should have...


LET PLUMMER PLAY!!!

Friday, October 5, 2007

Big Baby Daddy!

HARD WORK GOOD, AND HARD WORK FINE, BUT FIRST TAKE CARE OF HEAD

Well, this is just f***ing great, Denver fans. Travis Henry, one of the keys to Denver’s potential success, is a hair away from getting the hammer dropped for his second league substance offense. The interesting thing here is that unlike the last few high-profile substance suspensions, Big Baby Daddy didn’t get popped for HGH or ‘roiding. No, apparently Poppa T got popped for the one lady in his life that he couldn’t knock up no matter how often he hit dat: Mary Jane.

Maybe this is a stretch, but maybe it isn’t...shouldn’t a team signing a guy with character issues and previous violations dig pretty deep on the background check? Was it simply a matter of Shanahan asking “Travis, you still hit the bong?” and Henry simply lying? Or did they even bother to check? Personally, we here at LPP don’t mind the sweet leaf so much, but when it comes down to gainful employment and keeping your ass on the field...Big Baby Daddy was just a dumbass. Problem is, despite loads of talent, it’s not like Henry didn’t have any red flags on him. Yet the Broncos rolled the dice on a man who is apparently Shawn Kemp and Ricky Williams rolled into one. Are you kidding? That’s an old-school Raider move! Henry made the mistake, but by bringing him in, Shanahan and Sundquist enabled it. Now it’s a distraction and a detriment that could turn an uneven start into a full-fledged disaster.

Selvin Young looked good last game but if Henry goes down the Broncos will have Young and Mike Bell--both undrafted--as their top RB options. That’s yet another dice roll. Any good gambler will tell you that if you keep rolling the dice, you will inevitably crap out. Within 12 months, Denver has: swapped out a veteran QB with a winning record for a rookie from a bad football school during a playoff run; sent said rookie and future franchise savior back into a season finale with a concussion; fired a competent and proven defensive coordinator after a top-ten finish with a battered lineup; and hitched the running game on a guy with knee problems, nine kids by nine women, and a suspension record.

Hopefully, Denver will at least save money on Henry’s contract, but the team has another distraction that they can’t afford. Face it fans...despite San Diego being coached by Mr. Magoo, they’re angry and cornered with a chip on their shoulder and have an MVP running back ready to take his mad out on a bottom-five rush defense. Denver and BBD will try to stretch out his appeal as long as possible for this must-win game, but the Mile High Advantage might not be enough with Henry on the hot seat, Javon Walker’s knees buckling, and both lines getting worked like a side of beef in a “Rocky” movie while Shanahan tries to pretend he’s simply staying the course. Truth is, it’s largely Shanahan’s decisions that put us in this mess, but the soft Denver press will smooth this over and divert the blame towards Travis Henry and away from the guys who put the team’s season on Big Baby Daddy’s shoulders in the first place. BBD’s herb troubles are just part of a greater problem that many poor fans are blinding themselves to. LetPlummerPlay.com is proud to be the voice of reason in these troubled times. We won’t betray you, Denver faithful! Wake up and smell the ganja! And remember the good old days when the Broncos used to...

LET PLUMMER PLAY!!!

Thursday, October 4, 2007

From ESPN

By John ClaytonESPN.com(Archive)Updated: October 4, 2007 * Comment * Email *


Where's Jake Plummer when you need him?

During Jake the Snake's QB days in Denver, the rivalry between the Chargers and Broncos was predictable.Plummer would win the games in Denver with his smartsand feet, always making two or three big plays.Meanwhile, coach Mike Shanahan would do a masterful job catching the Chargers' defense off guard with his running attack.

In the rematch in San Diego, the Chargers would keepPlummer in the pocket and pound him. The series usually was a split.Now that Plummer has retired to Idaho, theChargers-Broncos series is unpredictable.

Monday, October 1, 2007

Save The Broncos!

UPON FURTHER REVIEW

The Broncos never had a chance. We all pretended that they did for a bit, but even after Pumpkin Pie ran in the TD, it never seemed as if the Broncos put any fear into the Colts. Sure, Big Baby Daddy ran big early, but after their first breakdown, the Colts figured out how to effectively choke off the red zone for most of the game. Pumpkin Pie didn’t make a lot of mistakes, but it was going to take an outstanding effort from our favorite NFL pastry to overcome the Colts and his own team; and that kind of game just isn’t in the crust yet.

Despite the Colts losing Harrison and Addai--their 2nd and 3rd best players--for large chunks of the second half, the Broncos rolled over, blew at least one LetPlummerPlay.com staff member’s office pool (yes, he picks them to win every week...and you think we’re haters?) and are now, uh, in first place in the AFC West. This is how bad the AFC West has become. Somehow (thanks to Norv “Stomach” Turner) the Chargers have fizzled and the rest of the division is at 2-2: Raiders, Chiefs, Broncos. While we’re ecstatic that our prediction about Norv’s path of coaching destruction has actually come true, we are less excited about how the Broncos failed to take advantage of the Jaguars last week in their own house and stake out first place.

“The Mastermind” was completely lost against the Colts when Henry came up lame, and unlike Tony Dungy, when he loses both a top receiver and his best runner, Shanny does not have the roster or the back-up plan (both HIS responsibilities) to compete with the big boys anymore. Last years’ loss to the Colts was a valiant effort where the best team gutted out a victory over a slightly lesser opponent. This year was different, as the Broncos couldn’t sustain more than one or two good drives in a row and eventually gave up in the fourth quarter. There’s no fire under these Bronco’s asses, whether it’s Shanahan occasionally slipping into the Art Shell/Norv Turner zone on the sidelines, whether it’s Cutler zoning out on the bench, the offensive line falling asleep every other down, the defensive line crumbling, or simply the ENTIRE TEAM’S final collapse in the 4th quarter.

We’ll complain about him during a loss just like anyone else, but we here at LPP have come around to see Jay Cutler as both a talent and a man. We’ll make fun of the Pumpkin Pie Haircut and we’ll bitch a bit about his mistakes, but now we see why we kept the site up. We aren’t just here for Jake anymore, we’re here for all the “savior” QB’s of the Broncos who didn’t get a proper chance and were blamed for something that in the end wasn’t and isn’t their faults. Now we know there’s something bigger than the QBs to blame for all this. Brian Griese was selected to succeed Elway. Plummer was selected to bring back respect to the Broncos QB position. Cutler was brought in to start over clean and build a new franchise QB. If the first two tries didn’t work under the same head coach, why is this time going to be different? The Broncos have Pro Bowl talent at multiple positions and Shanahan reconstructed the coaching staff (again) to fit his style. It’s not working, and Jay Cutler, a legit stud prospect at QB, is going to suffer for it. Can’t you just picture Pumpkin Pie getting run out of town Griese- or Plummer-style in 3 years and then catching on to another team that will probably know how to use him?

How embarrassing is it going to be when Jay Cutler takes Carolina or Kansas City to the playoffs?

By the way, the man Shanahan blamed for the team’s defensive struggles last year went straight to Tampa Bay, and Larry Coyer has helped hone a defense that was 21st in points allowed last year (finishing 4-12) into a team that’s allowed the fewest points in the NFL and is now sitting atop its division. Gary Kubiak has people buzzing about the Texans...the Texans! The Broncos are floundering with multiple Pro Bowlers, the best secondary in the league, a QB generally considered a blue-chip prospect, and a workhorse of a running back. And the team is struggling against everyone. Maybe we’re just idiots here, but we think that kind of poor guidance starts at the top. Shanahan is no longer “The Mastermind.” He’s just another coach. If things don’t turn around soon, he’ll be just another coach who’s stuck around too long. Don’t coast on 97-98 and keep giving Shanahan a mulligan year after year. Demand excellence from the position where the Broncos need it most! If you think we’re still just insane Jake Plummer lovers, you can kiss our asses! We failed to save the Snake, but our failure is going to inspire us to do bigger things! We aren’t just out to save the last piece of Pumpkin Pie; we’re out to save the entire Broncos team! SAVE THE BRONCOS!

Start holding Shanahan accountable for HIS mistakes, Denver faithful! The team is crumbling despite a load of talent! Put the blame where it belongs and CAN THE SHAN! Trust us, it’s not just because he didn’t...

LET PLUMMER PLAY!!!

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Mike Shanahan/Bronco Fans/City Of Denver CORRECT!

Before we go into another 3700 word essay on how wrong Mike Shanahan has been in ALL his decision making, we give you this:

You were right all along, it really was Jake Plummer that held Denver back last year, not the team, not Shanahan, it was all Plummer. How did we come to this conclusion? Well it was quite easy actually, after watching today's game against the Colts.

We simply compared Jake's numbers last year against A BETTER Colts team to Pumpkin Pie's numbers this year, here's what they look like:



October 29th, 2006 vs Indy

Jake Plummer:
QB Rating: 104.1
Comp/Attempts= 13-21 for 174 yards and 1 TD and ZERO Interceptions
1 Fumble lost

Final score: Indy 34-Denver 31

September 30th, 2007 vs Indy

Jay Cutler:
QB Rating: 75.7
Comp/Attemtps= 13-21 for 131 yards and 1 TD and ONE INTERCEPTION
1 Fumble lost

Final score: Indy 38- Denver 20

There you have it. It simply had to be Jake. It could not be Mike Shanahan's TERRIBLE decision making, or a team that simply GAVE up last year when their head coach decided to throw away the season after 11 games, it was Jake that held Denver back, nothing else! I mean just look at how your Pumpkin Pie destroyed Jake's stats, granted Jake was facing a nearly unbeatable Indy team, but still led the Broncos to 31 points. But still, now we see, this Denver team is Superbowl bound and if it wasn't for Jake, they would be set to repeat!

I don't think this is true, it's probably just a rumour, but Champ Bailey was heard saying, "I'm just looking to collect my money and not get hurt, what else can you do when you play for a coach who gives up half way through the season."

*Once again, that is just a rumor and possibly not true.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

We Talk Too Much

We apologize for the lengthy post, but a couple of us get off on rants and like to practice for writing columns and reports. Upon further review we’d like to thank everyone who stopped by to check us out even if it was to insult us, and we’d also like to sum up yesterday’s blog to save time because frankly, we do talk too much.
In summation:

1. Shanahan is slowly exposing his reliance on good ex-assistants like Kubiak and Coyer and this season will be the beginning of the end...and pay attention to the improvements in Houston and Tampa if you don’t believe the difference those two guys made.

2. Cutler is a nice guy and a good quarterback who may actually end up being ruined by the way his young career’s being handled. We’re crossing our fingers that Denver will not turn on him once they realize he’s not going to be a savior all by his lonesome and run him out of town like the last two guys. Also, he makes far too much money and is far too intelligent to cut his own hair. Lose the Pumpkin Pie cut, Jay, please!

3. Jake the Snake got shafted and he’s not coming back. We understand. But we reserve the right to talk about the guy until death, especially since the Broncos do not look improved this year if you’ve been paying attention. This is not a better team than the one that beat the Patriots in Foxboro last year.

4. The Broncos roster and gameplan is full of holes that the Bills, Raiders, and especially Jaguars exposed; things need to be fixed. Unfortunately, with the Colts, Chargers, Steelers, and Packers as the next 4 opponents, it might get much worse before it gets better.

5. We love the Broncos and want the team to WIN!!! This means we will kick sentimentality to the curb. The team is in need of a change starting at the top. The shelf life of Bly, Henry, Walker and Bailey is about four years. Lynch is about done. If they’re truly playing for the future, they need to step it up and fast. If they’re playing for “now” they need to be realistic and look at overhauling the defensive line and coaching staff. At this rate, they won’t catch the Pats and Colts before 2015.

If we are truly proven wrong at the end of the season, we apologize and talk about something else. By “proven wrong” we mean “second round.”

Despite all of this, we do believe in positive thinking and wish the Broncos the best of luck this weekend. Anything can happen in the NFL. If they beat the Colts or Chargers or both, it’s a much-needed shot in the arm. But if they lose, this season will get fugly fast. Pull out all the stops, Pumpkin Pie, otherwise in 3 years you’ll have an ulcer and wonder why people are making up clever insults that rhyme with your name while talking about some college QB in the Broncos draft wheelhouse.

Anyway, go Broncos, but ya shoulda...

LET PLUMMER PLAY!

Monday, September 24, 2007

Jay Cutler Blames Loss On....HEAD SET?



If anything, Cutler was more frustated about the balky sideline-to-quarterback communications apparatii than the injury. The technical snafus forced the Broncos to burn a pair of timeouts in the third quarter, and while Cutler remained composed, his words steamed frustration with the in-helmet radio receiver. - Andrew Mason (Denver Broncos ah, Professional Blogger?)



“They’re not the finest contraptions they have out. I don’t know. It gets really loud in some stadiums. At some stadiums they cut in and out. In some stadiums you hear concession people. You never know what’s going to happen with those things. (I’m) serious.” - Jay Cutler




Apparently Pumpkin Pie hurt his ankle while being sacked late in the 4th quarter. However he said he was fine and if anything, he was more frustrated with the head set? WOW...Do you Denver fans honestly think Jake or Elway would have blamed a loss on their head sets? By the way Jay, we know here at LPP that you have a SideKick, don't deny it, we're in the know, and we know you have one...Well next Sunday against the Colts, try using your SideKick to Instant Message Shanahan for play calling. that way you can't hear concession stand people and cannot blame the loss on your head set. Come on Pumpkin, pull out that SideKick on the field. We'd love you for it!

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Do you?

Do all you corny Pumpkin Pie lovers see it coming? Denver sneaks by the Bills, needs OT to beat the Raiders and now can't even beat the Jacksonville Jaguars? You must see it coming. Check our archives, you'll see that when Mike Shanahan decided to start Jay over Jake we proclaimed:

HEY DENVER-WELCOME TO MEDIOCRICTY!

If you don't see it, wake up, this team stands no chance against Indy, New England nor San Diego. It's so frustrating to watch. You Pumpkin Pie fans are lucky you're not 0-3 after today. I have one question for the Pumpkin Pie lovers...When do you start calling for Patrick Ramsey to start? We're calling for him already!!!! Come on, bench Pumpkin Pie and start Ramsey NOW!

WAIT....UPDATE....Pumpkin Pie just completed about a 9 yard pass to Brandon Stokely on 3rd down. It was about 1 yard short of the first down and guess what all them corny Denver fans did, THEY BOOOOOOOOOOOOED Cutler! HAHA.. can you believe that, their hero, their one tur love, booooooooooed for not getting them the first down. This is exactly what we were so concerned with last year. Denver fans are simply THE WORST. Love him when he does well, but when he does average, BOOO the Pumpkin, it's sad. Hey Jay, after Denver fans run you out of town next year, we may actually cheer for you in your new city. It's just Denver, the city and it's hopeless fans that we really can't stand nowadays!

Last note before we give FULL WRITE UP of the day's events: Who sucks more? Mike Shanahan or Art Shell? Four minutes left, yeah, great choice on going for it Mike.

Oh and by the way, Jay Cutler now proudly holds a record of 4 wins and 4 losses. Seems ole Pumpkin Pie wants to keep his PRO record as close to his college record, which was a losing record, as possible.

From the AFC Championship to this, and just wait till Manning gets a hold of this defense next weekend!